Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Tuesdays With Me

"I am fine. Canada is awesome and campus is amazing," Adel replied, in his facebook wall to Shaira the other day.

Aah...modern day communication tool. The best 21st century invention.

Well. I'm happy that Adel is settling in well in Canada. It's better that he finds Canada awesome than to hate it and everything about it.

"But does that mean you're not ever coming home?", I asked. A little mischief there trying to put him on a guilt trip.

He didn't reply. But in a facebook messge to Kak Ton, he said he will come home after graduation and present me with a daughter-in-law and a grandchild.

And, of course, I know he was joking. Still, I'd have to have a little chat with my young man.

Adel has always been full of positivity and optimism. I hope this will put him in good stead as he begins a new journey, a new experience in this foreign land...which, as it turns out, does not seem so foreign to Adel, after all.
Must be his life-long exposure to TV, movies and every imaginable media tool. In this day and age, nothing should be so foreign to anyone anymore.

Adel was still home during the first week of Ramadan. He left for Canada on the ninth day (early Sunday morning of Aug 30).

As we were sitting in the TV room enjoying quiet moments, he said: "Mummy will be okay when I'm away?"

Of course, I'd be ok, I told him. I should be the one worried about him. And during Ramadan, I am concerned about how he'd be breaking fast and whether he'd be able to have his "sahur" meals at all.

I asked him in his facebook wall how he was celebrating Shawal.

"There is a mosque near my area...."

Everytime I break my fast, and everytime I sahur, I think of my son,

I know I shouldn;t because, well, he is a big boy.

For the first time (in all ramadan), I gave the bazaar a miss. I have not gone to any. Not once. Not even on weekends.
It's because of the swine flu, for sure. Better safe than sorry.
You know how crowded these places are.
Instead, I buy my buka fare at our neighbourhood restaurant.

But even during previous Ramadans. I'd usually buy one or two types of kuih, Adel's favourite yong taufoo and otak-otak, and for Shaira, ikan bakar. I'd get for myself and the maid, laksa kedah or laksa penang. I'd also get ayam percik (for sahur).
Actually, it's not so much the buying and spending, but just walking past the stalls that's fun. Just taking in the smells and sounds. I loved it.

The strange thing is, though, I don't mind at all not going this year.

Besides, Adel used to accompany me to the bazaars on weekends or when he was not at school or college.

I'd better get used to him not being around.

As I have said. We're already into our third week of Ramadan.

Sungguh cepat masa berlalu.

And before I know it, I'd be celebrating Adel's return home. With or without menantu and cucu.

Meanwhile, I hope I'll be able to hold back my tears on the eve of Syawal when the Takbir begins to resonate...


Cat-in-Sydney said...

Aunty Nuraina,
Can I call you Opah Nuraina from now on? heheheh...poor you missing your boy. OK, adopt me instead. Purrrlease...

Anonymous said...

Yes, do stay away from crowds to be safe. Following BBC 2 days ago, Malaysia is one of top 8 countries worldwide with the highest infection rate. 20% jump in # of infected cases for past (1) week. Have a safe Ramadhan.

GUiKP said...

Greetings from Amsterdam Sis Ena.
Transiting for 6-hour before our next flight to Milan.

I think Adel will struggle to contain his tears when he hear the Takbir on 1Syawal 1430H. It is the rites of passage, I suppose.

KLM and Schipol Airport are awesome too. For their inflight entertainment, there is everything for everyone. Although there are many things one can do at the airport to kill the time, we've decided to participate in the city tour, at the risk of jeopardizing our pahala puasa. So bye for now.


cat: i'll adopt you..:-)
are you coming home for raya?

Anon@1:41PM: scary, isn't it? thank you. and yout oo.

Naz said...

Salam Nuraina,
I opted to be self employed because of my kids. Can't stand being away from them and can't stand the thought of someone else doing my job of mothering etc. So I can imagine how you feel with your darling far away. I'll probably feel the same way when my kids are bigger and ready to leave the nest.

Take care OK :)



Wow you're already in Amsterdam...on the way to Milan.

Aaah...Amsterdam. To think that when I first stepped into this pretty city, I said to myself -- "this is a place where boys quickly learn to become men"...
I like Amsterdam.

I'm bracing myself for the eve of Syawal...I know I'll be so sebak.. With each ramadan and Syawal, we find our family getting older...

that's life.

Anyway....take good care. and it's ok..asal jangan berterlaluan..



how lucky you are...to me being self-employed is a blessing in many ways but it is not for everyone. if you could, you wouldnt think twice.

take care and thank you for visiting.

zaitgha said...


Your TWB always made me cherish old memories with my late dad...and now your Tuesdays made me wonder if my late mum felt the same way when i was away last time...i guess most mum would and i myself is not really looking forward for my boys to leave home....but thats the cycle of life kan??

how time flies and take care mam....

Anonymous said...

I had the same feeling too ..last year, when my son Adrie joins university. His first maiden away trip was when he reluctantly joins PKLN in Bintulu. He returns to KL for the interview and rejoin another camp in Banting. Syukur alhamdullah, he has adapted university life.

My daughter Shaza-Adrina then joins college after our Umrah trip in March. She has never been away from home, so it was hard for her, more so for us. Living in a remote town makes it more painful as kids nowadays are exposed to luxury items of communication tools.

I think walking pass each stall brings back the nostalgia of 'kampong atmosphere' that I use to experience before. Exchanging foods with neighbours was the customary rituals of the month. We always had a feast varieties of food for buka puasa. In the nite, after tarawikh, playing crackers and 'bom buluh' was the next 'in-thing'.

I am glad both my kids will be back next week to celebrate Syawal together again. It will be another 2 years before my last daughter Lisa-Ameera joins them.

Tears will flow freely this time.I just celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary.

Oldstock said...

Salam Puan Ena,

Kasih seorang ibu kepada anak memang tiada bandingannya.

Insyaallah, pejam-celik, pejam-celik, balik lah si anakanda itu. Mudah-mudahan Adel berjaya dalam pelajarannya.

Adel Hakim Idris said...

mummy jangan risau, i'm fine and i'll be fine in future.

nanti tiba masanya I'll come back home Insyaallah.


zai: brace yourself, my dear, for the inevitable.
sure sedih berpisah dengan anak . lumrah dunia.
take care and have a wonerful ramadan. next week dah last week-dah.

namza: oooh...how wonderful that your two kisd will be back for aidilfitri...
have a good raya. take care.

old stock: memang...kasih ibu. unreserved.

thank you...


mummy tak risau, sayang.
i know you're ok and will be ok.

ingat pesanan dan nasihat mummy, ok..

i miss you.

take care, love.

Basree Rakijan said...

Selamat Hari Raya Adel Fitri! Buat ler open house, boleh hilangkan rindu kat Adel bila ada kawan-kawan nanti!

Rocky's Bru said...

Wow, Adel in Canada, ready for love and loving the weather.

It's going to be tough holding back those tears when takbir raya bergema, Ena.

But big and macho as your son is, it'd be a sad Raya for him, too.

Roslina said...

Hi Nuraina ! My son is leaving next Friday for Liverpool. The liason officers came to KL last week for a briefing. There's a slide entitled "What not to bring"- do not bring rice cooker, spices, Brahim, maggi etc. They have them readily available in Liverpool's Chinatown. Hariz looked over to me to make sure I was listening, in case I pack those in for him!
I opened a joint account at HSBC with Hariz (my first ever joint account with anyone) - I told him that this is "emergency" account. He nodded, I refrained myself from asking him to define what an emergency means. The ATM card can be used in Liverpool but they charge RM5 for each transaction. He'll open local account in Liverpool later when he arrives.
He started packing yesterday - 20kg is nothing! I'm glad we decided to visit him in late October. I told him I'll bring the things that he can't. We both looked at his old running shoes, which used to be white (now it's brownish) - I shook my head, get a new pair over there.
I agree with you, internet has changed everything! Hariz made friends with Malaysian students in Liverpool via Facebook. They've been exchanging emails. I'm glad, my son knows someone there already. They organise Raya celebrations at the university. I'm glad - he will leave before Raya, I don't want him to feel alone during Raya.
I see Hariz in a new light now. My eldest son - a tall young man, future doctor. He is moving to his new life as a student with his own adventures. I'll miss him very much...


basree: hmm...bagus jugak idea tu!
terima kasih :-)


roslina : wow..you went through the motion of preparing you and hariz for the day he leaves this country for a new life in England.
it's good to know that he's already made some friends.

i hope adel will make friends in waterloo(in ontario, canada) -- canadians, malaysians, eskimos...whatever.
friends should come in all shapes and colour.
however, i have reminded him to continue remaining strong to and in his faith. that is the bedrock of his own strength.

all the best in hariz's undertaking as he begins his academic journey to becoming a doctor.

and take care, roslina. you have a wonderful son there..and he is lucky to have a wonderful mom.



i told adel not to fall in love and in lust so fast there!
i am aware that his course is very tough so i told him not to study giler at the same time yada yada yada...
i didn't want to lecture him...just some words of advice. but you know how mothers are...they always sound like they're nagging even when they're not.

i just hope he won't get too romantically involved that will affect his studies.

he never told me this. but he told his aunt (nina, or was it lalin) that he is staying in a single-sex residence hall. but the next hall is an all-women residence. however, in the second year, they stay in a mixed-sex residence hall and they get to choose their room-mate (whatever sex...)


Pasquale said...

Get a life mum, let him sow his wild oats.....yes he will come home with your daughter-in-law and a grandchild one day....reminded me of some one a long time ago...that turned out not to be all that bad after all, eh!

selampit said...

Yesss, the good old days of studying abroad. Good ol' USA.

The memory of berbuka puasa with muffins and plain tap water when pokai.

The difficulty of finding halal food and halal eateries, especially when you're on the road (travels and such).

Culture shock. I remembered being rebuked by an old lady for spitting on the concrete sidewalk.

Harassed by racist skinhead scums who called me 'chink and vietcong' and told me to 'go back to Vietnam.'

All those scantily dressed babes (pheeewwiit!!), whitey, ebony, Latino. A FEAST for your sore eyes (after long hours of study). Hey mom, don't blame us, we're young bachelors!

The breathtaking scenes that you WILL NEVER see in this country. Gargantuan mountain ranges, ocean-like lakes, beautiful prairie plains.

Autumn, Fall, white winter...

Adel my boy, you still have a long way ahead. Always be cheerful and always REMEMBER WHY you're there in the first place.


Good luck.



yeah....tell me about it!



oh yes oh yes..studying abroad.
i reckon it was so different for us those days.
i know it was difficult to get halal food.
these days, so much easier.

i hope adel remembers -- when he gets distracted -- why he is in waterloo in the first place! Yep..to study study study..

thanks for visiting.

Anonymous said...

When I wuz overseas there were gals aplenty,
Back home no one looked at me,
But overthere all da girls oh so friendly,
I thought Malay guy no gals wan me,
Tiba-tiba so many suka me,
But I still come back with my DEGREE.