Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Tuesdays With Bapak (15)



Rembering Mak - May 22 2007
Something stirred inside me the other day. I didn't realize it then but it was Mother's Day. I'd like to talk about it today. I know the day is over. But didn't someone say that Mother's Day is everyday?
I am bad with dates of "days" - you know Father's Day, Press Freedom Day, Teachers' Day.
The only celebrated day I never forget is Labour (May) Day.

I was meaning to visit Mak's grave at the Bukit Kiara Muslim cemetery last weekend.
I was meaning to but I did not. Never got around to doing it. And since the cemetery is a place that I pass by almost everyday to go to Bangsar or Section 16 from my home in Taman Tun Dr Ismail, I really have no excuse.

Yes, something stirred inside me on Mother's Day.
I know I have talked about Mak, but I don't think I have ever really gone into detail about her.
Like all daughters (or sons, for that matter), I looked to my mother for comfort, strength and fortitude.

Mak was Hamidah Hassan. The selfless matriarch, loving wife, devoted mother and doting Andung (grandma). She died on June 2, 1990 of a heart attack, triggered by complications due to long-term diabetes. Although she was diabetic, modern medication gave a her a new lease of life. It enabled her to lead a normal life for as long as she could.
The treatment of diabetes has undergone tremendous progress. Even during Mak's time, it was considered advanced.
Mak needed daily injections to keep her sugar level in check. She trusted two other people, besides herself to admininster the injection -- Abang Med and I.
Abang Med had no issue with needles. I did and still do. I have an aversion and a fear of needles.
But when Mak asked me the first time whether I could help her with the insulin injection, I did not hesitate in saying "yes".
The first time I had to poke the tiny, miniscule needle into her flesh, I almost fainted. How I managed not to still baffles me till today.

I did not realise it was Mother's Day until I received the first smses in my cellphone. I was already opening some old albums.
I was thinking about Mak. I counted the years from the year she died. Mak would have been 81 if she was still with us.
She died at 63.
It was as though her prayers were answered because she had often enough said that if she died, she hoped it would be at 63 years old, "just like the Prophet".
(Prophet Muhammad SAW "wafat" or died at 63.)

When she died, my whole world must have crumbled. Although I was prepared for her death as she was admitted into Pantai Hospital and remained there for four days before she died, I still was not able to accept her passing.
I don't think any of my siblings could, either.
We grieved for a very long time.
And for a very long time too, Bapak would spend long hours at the nearby Al-Malik Faisal mosque after maghrib prayers, reciting the yassin, right through Isya'.

When Mak passed away, Bapak had already retired from the NSTP as editorial advisor. He was guest lecturer at Universiti Malaya then, and was still writing his column, "Bila Sauh Di Labuh", for Berita Minggu.

A few days before she died, she had gone to Johor Baru to stay at one of my older cousin's house where she was getting together with my aunts who were coming from Singapore.
Bapak was still "persona non grata" in Singapore, so Johor Baru was the regular rendezvous.
Mak enjoyed these get-togethers and was always looking forward to them, as though she was going for a tryst, of some sort.

The last time she went, Kak Olin's eldest daughter, Khairena who was then about 6 years old, accompanied her Andung to JB.
Khairena was very close to Mak. In fact, whenever she was at Mak's, she would not leave her Andung's side.
That night, they took the "Senandung Malam" train at the (old) Railway Station in KL.

I remember how excited Mak was before she left for the railway station.
I was cradling Adel who was then 4 months old, in her room, as she was getting ready to leave.

She looked at me and bade goodbye. She bent over and planted a kiss on my forehead. I kissed her hand.

"Alah, Kesian anak Mak ni. Siapa nak tolong jaga Adel. Kesian cucu Andung ni. Tak lama. Hari Minggu Andung balik, ya", she said.
I told her to "kirim salam" everyone in JB and told her to have a good time.
"But please, jaga makan," I remarked, as I watched her traipsing out the door. She seemed happy.

Mak had chest pains when she returned home from JB on Sunday.
I remember she asked my maid to "urut" her. She thought it was just exhaustion. We all thought so too.
She did not tell us until later that she had a feast in JB -- lots of sweet stuff and durians too. the surge in her sugar level precipitated a chain of reaction in her body.

None of us imagined then that it was her heart that was giving way.

Mak was admitted into Pantai Hospital the next day. We thought she would be okay, that she would recover.
We took turns to care for her but Kak Eda and Nina were the ones by her side most of the time.
Nina was an amazing young lady. Still a law undergraduate at the International Islamic Universtiy then, Nina was Bapak's and Mak's personal assistant/advisor/chauffeur all rolled into one.
She was (is) our youngest and she could put us all to shame when it comes to household management.

I think one of the most heart-wrenching moments I had ever experienced was when Lalin returned home from England after Mak had taken a turn for the worse.
At one point, we thought that Mak would be ok except for some complications with her kidneys.
I remember Bapak, Abang Med, Kak Piah, Kak Ton as well as my brothers-in-law Abang Dzul and Abang Ani, discussing the need to turn the library downstairs into Mak's (and of course, Bapak's) room as she might need dialysis treatment.
I felt there was hope.

Lalin could not get a flight home because there were no available tickets. Her good friend whose father was with an airlines helped and she was able to get the next flight home.

Lalin was extremely close to Mak.
Mak was everything to her. Mak was her world.

Lalin was restless throughout her flight home. She knew something was not right.
When she arrived at Subang International Airport, what she saw confirmed her worst fears. At least, that was what she had thought.
Kak Olin, who was at the hospital earlier, was waiting for Lalin at the arrival hall of the airport.
The minute she saw Kak Olin, her heart missed a beat.
Kak Olin was clad in a baju kurung and wearing a tudung, as though she was from a funeral.

"Oh No! Mak...." Lalin cried inside.
Kak Olin comforted her.
"Let's go to the hospital. Mak is waiting for you at the hospital..."

I saw Lalin approaching the corridor near Mak's room. Everybody fell silent, fearing the next gripping moment when Lalin would see her beloved Mak lying motionless, unconscious, helpless on the hospital bed.

When she reached the door, she looked at Mak, her face turned so pale. She just slumped at the door.
I think that was when, for the very first time, I let my defences down.
I felt so much for Lalin. For all of us.

Mak died in the wee hours of Saturday, June 2, 1990. She never regained consciousness after going into a coma the day before.

She was our pillar of strength , our salve, those years of Bapak's incarceration. She made sure none of us would be forced to quit school or college.
How Lalin remembered Mak tap-tap-tapping away on her faithful typwriter late into the night, trying to meet the deadline for her articles in Berita Harian.
Or those times, she was opening and reading letters from troubled souls (mostly women), and helping them find themselves or find answers to their problems because she was agony aunt "Cik Sri Siantan".
But could anyone help solve her problem? Ease her pain?

Lalin would be staying up with Mak those nights.

When Bapak was released, Mak was overjoyed. She was smiling like a blushing bride.
The day Mak died, Bapak was very calm and composed but there were moments when he would stutter and stammer. The only time we saw him break down was when Pak Cik Melan (the late Melan Abdullah) arrived for the funeral and hugged him.
Pak Cik Melan was the older brother Bapak never had and he loved Mak like his own sister.

How we all remember Mak's words, during our dinner table talk about life in general: "Ibu seorang boleh menjaga 2, 3 atau 10 orang anak, tapi 10 orang anak sukar untuk menjaga ibu yang seorang."

Mak. I hope we had proven to you that, for once, you were wrong. We love you and miss you dearly. You are in our prayers, always.

AL-Fatihah.

(Photos: 1. top left: Mak in 1985 at Kak Eda's place. 2. Mak at home (during Bapak's detention). On her lap is Jehan (Kak Ton's youngest). Wearing glasses is Lalin. At left is Jasmine (Kak Ton's eldest) and making faces in the foreground is Nina. 3. Portrait of Mak and Bapak.)

111 comments:

OFF said...

Nuraina, I'd like to say this poem with you:

MAK

Beloved wife of a leader/
Your strength and fortitude, courage and observance/
Gave him his, to serve the ummah and be their guide/
In life's mortality.

Forbearing lover of a man,/
Whose chartered course in life to heal the sick/
And steer the state to heights of dignity,/
Chained you to mortal time but freed your mind's heart/
To be wise, Woman - with a wisdom not schooled/
In the circuitous philosophical bent/
Of pedantic ulamas with fancy beards,/
Of smart professors in learned gowns./
Yours was the wisdom of experience/
Of tasting the sweet bitterness of living and dying.

Beautiful Woman of his heart;/
Fair temperer of his dreams;/
Patient healer of his soul;/
Blithe liberator of his spirit;/
You eased his path and made his vision clear./
In doing so, your gift is life's immortality/
To nurture forth compassion and sympathy./

The love you gave to all humanity/
God's gift to you so dear -/
But giving so you lived and died alone,/
Leaving him aggrieved, children cherished to mourn/
Your selfless life and caring time on earth,/
Without demand or terse condition.

Beloved Woman and Mak for you we yearn.

AlFatihah

alliedmartster said...

Thanks Kak Ena for sharing this...again.

I guess most of us take our parents for granted when they are around.
I started reacting differently to my mum, for the better, I mean, when I read about Zewt's loss. Previously, there would be times when I can lose my patience..and her nagging.
I use to ferry her around, for her medication, her dialysis, her visits to relatives, etc.
Of late due to work commitments, this task is now being taken over by my brother, and sisters.

Sometimes, she would tell me that she prefers me to bring her around.
The other day, she was down with food poisoning so bad that I had to take her to the hospital. At home, i became the nurse, and it was then that I realise that our love for our parents will bring us great energy and strength.
And it is this very strength and energy that will keep our memories alive.....I suppose.

AHIRUDIN ATTAN said...

I never got to know the force behind Pak Samad but here in this instalment of the TWB I get to picture how big she was when she was alive and even now when she is not here anymore. Alfatihah.
And how true .. I don't think my four brothers and sisters and I, collectively, managed to care Mak half as well as she did us. Often, I'd wish to go back in time so that I could do better for her.

p.s. My bro Mat Salo, I don't think a tissue is enough after reading this one. Drill some holes for me, too.

Son of a Gan said...

Beautiful poem, off.

And Alliedmartster, If she wants you to drive her around, do it bro. Remember, we can have a truckful of girlfriends and many wives, but only I mother mah. If she tells me not to have a truckful of girlfriends and marry only one, I will obey her.

a malaysian in riyadh said...

Sis Ena
I guess the Cik Sri Siantan columnn had similar mass appeal in the 70s (?) as TWB now. Even now, I'm sure there are many Cik Sri Siantan wannabes out there.

Your beautiful touching story made me miss my Wan so terribly now. Oh just one more month to go before we can be with her again after a 9-month separation, insyallah.
aMiR

Nora said...

Kak,

Al-fatihah for your late Mak. Thanks for sharing. I was thousand miles away when my Mak died.

Keanorlinsya said...

Aunty Ena, ur mum's quote made me realise that im the one my parents are counting on seeing that i am the only nomal child. My brother may be able to get my parents into heaven but as for me, even if i die and were to be reborn there is nothing i can do to repay them or help them 'buy' their way into heaven.

From the photos: Aunty lalin looked like a nerd. hehehe
U and aunty lalin looked a lot like ur mum. Wait, aunty ton and anuty nina too.

Anonymous said...

Kak,

TQ for the stories of your family. My eyes watered when reading them.

I was working when my father died (with his new wife) in Cheras, having to use public transport to fetch my wife and sons in Gombak, I only got the final doa tal-kin after the funeral. Am I not a member of the 'family'. I guess I am outcast.

I wish my own family could be a big happy family without 'preference'.

Al-Fatihah

Nani, Cheras
(Sorry for bad English)

OFF said...

I meant "share" but "say" is OK too.

ewoon said...

Darn it, Nuraina. Today you made me teared, like the end of a good movie.

May your Mak rest in peace. God bless her soul.

Danny said...

Dear Nuraina,

That was truly a beautiful piece on a very, very special lady who touched all our hearts in special ways. Words however will always be inadequate to expess the gratitiude we all owe and feel for this grand woman who was mother and friend to all of us. I personally remember her very fondly as a person who always had a caring word and gesture for her fellow human being.
Syabas Nuraina, for this beautiful piece.

drbubbles said...

ayo kak nuraina,

you make my eyes wet reading those lines.

WANSHANA said...

Dear K.Ena,

Looks like Tuesdays will be my crying days now...

Your Arwah Mak was a very strong lady to have gone through the trials and tribulations, and holding the family together through the trying times.

She was a beautiful lady with an even more beautiful soul.

Eventhough she is no longer with you and your family, the memories that you all have of her is priceless. I'm sure she would be VERY proud of her children, and I'm sure she knew how much she was/is loved by the family.

Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan para soleh dan solehah. Aamin.

Al-Fatihah.

elviza said...

Kak Ena dear,

First *hugs hugs hugs*

Sorry I missed meeting you today. Work, as usual get in the way. Sigh.

Now about Mak,

I didnt know she was Sri Siantan! I rememer reading her a long time ago.

Al fatehah for Mak

elviza said...

one more thing,

you made me cry. again!

Kata Tak Nak said...

Don't be sad, for all mothers whose children love them are immortal coz in their hearts these mothers eternally live.

the Razzler said...

Kak Ena ..

I cried!! I cried again!! & again!! & again!!

I spend nine days in Singapore keeping my Mummy company until .. she was everything to me!! & still IS!!

May your Mummy & my Mummy rest in peace & God bless their soul!!

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

OFF: Thank you so much. What a beautiful poem.

Tony: WOw. Your mum is still around. How lucky you are. Take care of her. Thanks again, Tony, for visiting.

Rocky: I never got to meet your mum but from what I know, she was some woman!
Yes, Rocky, I wish I could turn back the clock, go back into time and do things I wish I had done for Mak.

Son of a Gan: Profound, man. Now, to drill that into my son's head before it's too late.
Thanks for visiting.

aMiR:The Cik Sri Siantan went on for a long time and Mak handled it until after Bapak was released.
She received loads of letters.
The weekly column earned her some money. Of course, the cheques were very slow in coming. NST was notorious for late payments to part-timers, stringers and contributors.

good to know you'd be home to be with your mum. home in Malaysia?
that's really great. how nice. aMiR, if you could come for mee rebus with the missus and elham and the older ones.

Nora; Terima kasih, Nora. So sorry to know that u could not be with yr mum when she died. But that's ok, you know.

kea: that's ok. my dear. AS long as you love them, you will never go wrong.
kea -- aunty lalin macam nerd. heheh. if u see my photo masa umur tu pun macam nerd.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

nani: SO sorry to know that, Nani. I hope things are so much better with you and you family. Take care. And Thank you for visiting.

OFF: Hmmm.. I thought so. But. hey, "say" also can.

Danny: Mr Danny Thaddeus. I mentioned you last week about our Math tuition classes in the library.
Actually I decided to write about my mother after our chance meeting last week. You sounded so disappointed that I had not talked about Mak. You told me how you remembered her...
Thanks for the inspiration and thank you for visiting.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Danny : er er.... umm umm... wait a minute.

You are DANNY THADDEUS, aren't you?

kak ton/maria said...

NURAINA A SAMAD said...
Danny : er er.... umm umm... wait a minute.

You are DANNY THADDEUS, aren't you?
================================

Who else Ena, who else. Must be Danny Thaddeus.

Danny was among the first who visited us the moment he heard the news that Bapak was detained.

True friends are hard to find. We count you among them, Danny. :)

Maria

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

drbubbles: thanks for visiting, but oh..so sorry.. didnt mean to make you cry.

kata tak nak : thank u, KTN, I will alwasy remember that.

Elviza: hug3X. thank u.
there will always be another tuesday.dont worry.

abu rabu aka ash wednesday said...

Ena

Mak knew her time was nigh quite a while before she died. She told me so, sort of. But not in those words.

This happened on the first day of Hari Raya Aidil Fitri, the year she died.

Back then, it was my practice to go to the Jalan University Mosque in Section 16 for Shawwal prayers. If I was early enough, I would drop by Bapak's house first to see if Bapak needed a ride. In any case, I would always go to the house after prayers before going back home to change and pick Farrah up (my girls were not born yet).

That year, in 1990, I was at Bapak's house after prayers as usual. I was the first among us to be there. Mak ushered me to the living room where Bapak was sitting. I sensed an urgency of sorts. She wanted to do the"salam-salaman" - the practice of asking for forgiveness from one's elders for whatever wrongs one had done over the past year.

So there we were, the three of us - Bapak, Mak and me. Then Mak said this, to no one in particular: "Tak tahulah sama ada tahun depan sempat kita bersalaman..."

I was taken aback by what she said, and told her, "Mak, janganlah cakap macam tu!"

She knelt in front of Bapak and kissed his hand, and I heard an almost inaudible sob as she asked Bapak for forgiveness. Bapak held her and kissed her on the forehead.

He said some comforting words as he put his hands around her, as he embraced her ... I had never before seen such an open display of affection between them both. At least not like that - not in front of me, not in front of us.

I choked on my words when it was my turn to ask for forgiveness. Mak wiped her tears as she hugged me, though I hardly felt reassured.

Mak knew she didn't have much time. It was totally unlike her to binge on food, especially sweet treats. Her uncharacteristic act at Abang Kadir's house in JB, the act that precipitated her myocardial infarction, was like "buang tabiat".

Dearest Mak. Hardly a day goes by without my thinking about you, without my missing you. How I wish my girls had known you. Yes, time heals, but time will never erase the memory of the mother that you were to me, to us.

Al-Fatihah.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

shana: oh dear, shana.. it really wasnt my intention to make this instalment a tear-jerker. I just wrote what I felt and what i remembered.
i'll try to think of happy happy stuff the next time.
thank you for your kind words.
and thank u for visiting again.

take care.,..
i see the mee rebus waiting for you....

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

the razzler: oh.. dont be sad. thank you, razz. take care.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

kak ton,

yeah... it's danny. dear dear danny.
if it's you danny.... WE LOVE YOU DANNY!

Keanorlinsya said...

Oh great! 2 tear-jerking stories in 1 post! Penat lah nangis mcm ni. Dahla i pg TWB more than once a day. T.T

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Abang Med/Ash Wed/Abu Rabu:

I think you've told us about this. I have a vague memory of this. I seem to know about this so u must have told us.
Yes, it's true. Mak was very careful with the food she ate. Wasn't like her to binge. And durian!
She knew she wasn;t supposed to eat those sweet stuff, the kuih-muih, the fruits... so she only told us much much later, when she was about to be admitted.
She knew we were all so upset.
I remember before she fell into a coma, when I visited, I asked her what she'd like, she told me air barli. I went home, and returned to the hospital. she was still conscious. but i'm not sure if she ever drank it becos she asked me to put the drink on the table.
i also remember, when she had a sip of water, she said "sedap nye, macam susu." It was just water.

I suppose, Abang Med, if you had known then, what you know now.....

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

kea,

chat malam ni....

Theta said...

Dear Ms Nuraina,
Your late mom sounds like one swell lady. Full of courage, temerity and perseverance.
In her lifetime, She's fortunate to have you and your siblings as her doting children.

I truly empathise with your loss.
Take great care.

QueenB said...

dear ena, this post should nudge me into visiting my Mak's grave too; it's been three long years since she was gone ...
sorry for the cliche, sis - "tapi kasih ibu membawa ke syurga"

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Theta : she was a wonderful mother.
we miss her terribly.
thank you, Theta. Thank u for visiting.
take care.

QueenB: 3 years? memories still fresh, ya?
go visit her grave, B.
And that kind of cliche -- tak apa. kita boleh pakai to our kids pulak.

mutalib saifuddin said...

oh, how touching the story was, mdm aina..really.

but don't you think that if your mom died at 63, it would be good? (macam The Prophet [pbuh])

and your story made me remember how the Kiara Cemetery was alike. In early 90's it was almost empty, but now, full. a number of my aunts were buried there too.

the best ever reminiscence read. Don't stop it.

zhmi said...

Dear Ms. Nuraina,

I was reduced to tears after reading your poignant piece on your beloved mom. I cried when I first read it in the office this afternoon and I cried again after reading some of the readers' posts, especially the one written by Abang Med @ Abu Rabu.

Btw, in addition to "Tuesdays with Bapak", can we now expect "Mondays with Mak" from you?

sesat said...

Dear Nuraina,

My heart strings are tugged by your moving tribute to your Mak augmented by Abu Rabu's poignant narrative of his "salam-salaman" with her.

May your Mak rest in peace.

WANSHANA said...

Abg Med/Abu Rabu/Ash Wednesday,

And when I thought my next crying session would be on the NEXT TWB, you came along with another tear-jerker today...

Your recollection of events on that Syawal was as clear as crystal. It must have been a very profound moment for you to have been able to remember it so, so vividly until today.

The do'a from her children, especially from her sons, insya Allah dipanjatkan terus ke Syurga...

Pi Bani said...

Kak Ena, I'm one of the lucky ones to still have my mother around. The reason I came back to Ipoh way back in 92 (used to work in KL before) was simply to stay with her when my father passed away. I never really had the opportunity to take care of my father, so I am not going to let go of the opportunity to take care of my mother. She's 74 this year.

Your posting reminded me that I must do more for her while I can. Thanks for sharing.

WANSHANA said...

Dear K.Ena,

It's okay...I've resigned to the fact that I would be crying most of time when I read TWB, AND I've also resigned to the fact that however and whatever I do to prepare myself so as NOT to cry would be a totally futile effort on my part.

So, don't mind me - just bring on more tear-jerkers! (It can be quite therapeutic for me, I think?)

Hmmmm...the Mee Rebus sounds SO tempting! Will definitely take you up on the offer/invitation. Errr...can bring Romeo Jr and Romeo Sr, and my own two little women along, or not?! (one mini bus, you know?!);D

Take care.

a malaysian in riyadh said...

The phrase Cik Sri Siantan is so widely used now to represent a special kind of aura or ethos like "Sorry, can't help u, I'm not a Cik Sri Siantan" or "Tak sangka u ni terer macam Cik Sri Siantan". Is the column still running now? Have to plead ignorance cause I have stopped reading BH for ages.

Our home is up north and we are planning AROUND MALAYSIA IN 40 DAYS in June-July, and we are extremely delighted to include mee rebus party in our very-flexi travel schedule. Shukran, shukran.
aMiR

Kak Olin said...

Ena,
Lalin did not smile. It must have been my face - my mistake – I had no make up. Quite unlike me. I tried to smile but I think my face and body language said it all. She practically glared at me and gave me THAT look (the look we Samad sisters are supposedly known for!). Her first words were, “Kak Olin, why are you in a baju kurung? Why are you wearing a tudung? What’s wrong with Mak?”

In the car she continued with her barrage of questions. I told her about Mak’s condition without giving specific details, trying to remain calm and not letting my voice break. I had to take several deep breaths in between the awkward silent pauses. I felt her pain and her anguish. And throughout the half hour drive my heart was silently crying for her. But I knew I could not tell her. I could not do it. How could I? I was struggling with my own pain and the reality of the inevitable. How could I tell her that our beloved selfless Mak was dying and that she might not have much time? The drive back to Pantai Medical had never felt so long.

Our dearest Mak, for all that you have done, we can never thank you enough. For all that you are, we love you more than you will ever know. We miss you so very much…. Al-Fatihah.

Cheryl said...

Nuraina

So this week it's a relentless onslaught with a double-barrel shotgun, eh?

I had hardly finished drying my tears after reading your story when your Abang Med had to milk me dry with his. I can only exhibit so much lachrymatory display in a day. Where can tahan one...

Pass me the tissue, please ... thanks *sniff* ... anyway, more such posts from your siblings and soon I'll have wrinkled eye bags.

BAAAAWWWWW!!!

Azmi said...

Dear Nuraina,
Al Fatihah for your wonderful Mum and semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh nya. She lives on in your memory so she has only physically left. That's what I keep telling myself whenever I miss my late Mum. We all wish we can do more, but we have faith in what God has decided for his insan, so we redha. Time may lessen slowly the grief, but not the love and the fond memories of the good times...

lalin said...

kak ena,

I dreamed Mak died a month before she passed away, I told her over the phone that I dreamed of her, without telling her the details. She seemed to understand what I meant, becos she said "tak pe, Insyallah Mak panjang umur". I wrote her a long letter after that, telling her how much I missed her and home, how I was looking forward to her coming over to London to visit me that winter. She never got to read that letter. It reached home two days after she died...

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

mutalib; i remember when I was staying with her during my confinement (after i delivered my firstborn) she would be doing some "senaman" after subuh, following a radio program. and she religiously followed a contest which had an umrah package as the first prize. she was intent on going for her umrah (altho she had already performed her haj).
she never got that wish. but she got her other wish, to die at 63. She died in June. She would turned 64 in December that same year.
thank you, mutalib for visiting.

Zhmi: hope your tears have dried by now...
heheh... for the time being, just TWB-lah.

Sesat: Thank you..

Pi : oh. lucky you. I am sure you're taking wonderful care of her. You are so compassionate to other people, so I can imagine how u must be to yr mum.

shana: ok then... but make sure u keep the tissue box handy.
oh goody! wajib bawa romeo Jr. Romeo Sr, of course and the little women.
great....kak ton will be so delighted.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

aMiR: really? i never knew.
however, I think the column is no more. it was around for many years.

oh..aMiR -- do tell us when u and yr lovely family are coming by KL.
The mee rebus party is surely on.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

kak olin,

we were all so worried about lalin. we didnt know how she was going to be.
But, she was very strong.

Keanorlinsya said...

Wow! even aunty lalin's short post moved me. its like a twist of a movie's ending.
Warning for readers: Keep tissues handy, we are expecting more tear jerking posts from, aunty ton, aunty olin, aunty azah, unc kamal, aunty nina.
Surely they will have a story to tell.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

cheryl: oh...i dont know what to say... hope you're ok. i think a couple more comments from my siblings came after yours..
thank you, dear cheryl for visiting


Azmi: you are right, we redha. the grief has lessened over time but not the love and the fond memories of the good times...
thank you, azmi.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

lalin,

God took Mak then for a good reason and only He knows.
As my blog sis said, we redha. we remember her in our hearts and in our prayers.

Al-Fatihah

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

kea,
are you sure you can take all this? jangan bengkak mata esok nanti mama tak bagi baca TWB lagi...

Keanorlinsya said...

Aunty Ena, have i mentioned i read 10 TWB in 1 blow to catch up with the latest?
If i can handle that, surely i can take this. Dont worry.
Tapi next tuesday, happy post yea?

kak ton said...

Before Mak passed away she gave us a piece of 4 ½-metre white silk on our birthday with a simple request that we make it into a baju kurung as soon as possible

She kept asking us “dah hantar kain yang Mak bagi ke tailor?” every time we went to Sect 16 to visit her & Bapak.

Each time she asked me I would say “belum lagi tak ada masa nak pergi tailor,“ to which she replied, “jangan lambat-lambat sangat. Hantar cepat-cepat. Nanti kalau ada kematian tak ada baju putih nak pakai."

I believe Mak knew she’d be going soon and hence the constant reminder.

We didn’t get the hint then. It was only after she passed away that it struck us Mak was talking about her impending death - that she wanted us to have the baju ready...

We managed to have it made into a baju kurung only to wear it in & for the first time on the day of her funeral.

Roxanne said...

Nuraina, that you miss your mum is heartfelt; your sis Eda died much too early too. Sigh. All deaths make me sad and so conscious of my own mortality. So much to do and so little time to do them.
I had a fitness-crazy friend who dropped dead last year while out running. She lived to see only 37 summers. Her dad and his side of the family all died in their 40/50s because of heart attacks.
erh ... you know my obsession with the theory that everything has to do with genes ... go have your blood pressure checked. I had my bp checked (high blood pressure runs in my dad's family too) after my friend's death. My doc also suggested going for a mammography check every other year.
With medical breakthroughs and the knowledge we have today, these problems can be kept under control if detected early. I don't mean to worry you but do take care of yourself, won't you?

skinnycow said...

i love remembering how i was spoilt rotten by datuk, andung, tok & nani. i really do. because i get to relive all the memories made and those moments when it was just them and me.

like the way she taught me how to hold and buai adel to sleep, or the time when i woke up in the car and see her driving, she just looked at me and said 'shhh...jangan bagitau datuk'.

another time was when andung showed me the hatchlings in a birds nest from her orchid garden. thats how i knew to love and have compassion for animals. sebab kita patut sayang binatang. that's what she said.

and you know how tante nina could sometimes be a control freak kan? on our train ride to JB, andung spilled hot tea on her bed, she immediately said 'jangan kasi tante nina nampak, nanti dia marah andung' and quickly cleaned it up and covered it with some plastic, it was so funny. it was a few minutes later when tante nina came into our cabin and snapped the last photograph of andung and i. if you look closely in the picture, you can see the mess andung tried to cover from tante nina.

remembering andung; happy happy happy childhood.. (my defense mechanism diverts the thought of after the JB trip)

all i know is i had the best years of andung and datuk.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

kea: hehehe... i believe you, my dear.

kak ton: i remember that. she gave us each a piece of white silk to be made into baju kurung. and she kept reminding us about it everytime we visited her.
i had mine made two months before she died which was perhaps a month after I delivered Adel. And it was the baju kurung I wore for her funeral. How sad was that?
In fact, it had been my "funeral" baju kurung since. Much much later, I needed to make a new baju kurung.
Dear Mak....God bless her soul...

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Rox,

Mak's death was the first in my family. We were so devastated. I think I was so grieving that I donned the "tudung" for almost a month because I wanted to be "close to her". I performed the usual solat but performed extras and recited the yassin after every maghrib and subuh. I wanted to make sure God was listening to my prayers and "sampaikan" to her. I
I wanted her to be ok. I wanted her to know that I was always thinking about her. Of ocurse, then, I stopped donning the "tudung".
Mak is always in my prayers, as are Kak Piah and Kak Eda.

Thanx, Rox. After Kak Eda was diagnosed with breast cancer, she persuaded us to go for a mammogram. Imagine that? we had to be persuaded. And Kak Eda wasnt the first sister to have been diagnosed with breast cancer.
I had been putting off doing a mammogram because I had heard horror stories about the procedure. You know, making pancakes of our breasts. Man, I could already feel the pain. I was shit scared.
Finally, Kak Eda accompanied Kak Ton and I to the medical centre and we had ours done,
Ok...it wasnt as bad as people had made it out to be. It was quite fast.
And I was cleared.
I'll be going for my next one, I think, later in the year.

Thank u, Rox, for dropping by and for the concern. appreciate it.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Skinnycow (Khairena),

My dear, Ina... i remember so vividly how happy you always were playing in Andung's "oshin room". I would be looking for you in Andung's room, only to find you happily in her "oshin Room" (her attached study with the Japanese-styled sliding door), playing with your "my little pony" (i think) or colouring or writing while Andung would either be typing, mengaji, solat or reading one of the "fadhilat doa" books.
How vividly too i remember you so happy to be going with your beloved Andung to JB, that last trip.
Yes, the photos in the train.
Vividly too, your little confused, dazed face as you looked, and gazed at Andung before her body was being prepared for burial.
You wanted her to wake up, I know. But you dared not, in case doing so would make it worse than leaving her the way she was.
"Andung, andung....", you sobbed..a little girl's grief.
You were so devastated by her death as we all were, but in a different way.
It was very sad to see you at Andung's place after her death.
You were so reserved, so reticent. You took a long time to come of your little shell and coccoon which you must have shared with Andung.
Time really healed your pain and grief.

Ina, I remember that little girl who did not want to follow me, even when I bribed you with MacDonalds. You just wanted to be with your Andung.

I remember Andung's and (Datuk's) mantra about raising grandchildren -- don't make them (grandparents) the bad guys. they are never ever going to scold you when you are naughty, that's yr parents' job. Grandpas and grandmas exist to spoil their grandkids.

Remember the look on Andung's or Datuk's face whenever any of their children marah their gradnkids in front of them?

I remember Andung telling Cik Ton: "Kalau nak marah anak, kalau tak nak Mak masuk campur, jangan marah anak depan Mak."

She just "tak sampai hati" seeing any of her cucu kena marah.

Ina, I know memories of her are so alive, and you will always remember her selfless love for and devotion to you.

Al-Fatihah.

MARIANI said...

Kak Ena,

I thought only yesterday I kena tahan my tears. But I was wrong. Today lagi teruk. I had to control my tears when I read the comment from your Abang Med, Kak Olin, Lalin, Kak Ton and Skinnycrow (I thought SC is one of your nephews).

Jealous bila baca SCrow's comment. My children never had the chance to do all those things with their grandparents (My parents).

Semalam tidur mimpi my parents, I think tonight pun...

I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!

Raden Galoh said...

How true Kak Ena...."Anak ramai belum tentu boleh jaga mak sorang" In my case...it crumples my heart thinking that it's Mak who 'jaga' me when I was bedridden...she still 'jaga' me until today...without fail comes to my house on Saturday to check on me...

Thanks for sharing, sis.

Raden Galoh said...

Kak, Al-Fatihah to your arwah Mak too...

jorji said...

Sis.

i love my mum above everything.

acciaccatura said...

assalamualaikaum kak ena,
Al Fatihah for your mum. sri siantan used to be my mums favourite too.
when i read that she died at 63, i said to myself , yes i too want to go at about that age.

thquah said...

As I read your post, it brings back memories of my father when he passed away 5 years ago.Thanks once again.

adik said...

Dear kak Ena

Mata masih merah selepas baca "In Loving memory" and now ""Remembering Mak" and comments from your siblings & niece buat mata adik bengkak kerana menangis.

Your arwah Mak was a wonderful person, a great mom and a compassionate and loving grandmother.

Her gentle look (from the potrait with your dad) belied her inner strength. Her perserverance, the sacrifices she made, and her devotion to her family are reflected in her children.

You and your siblings are very lucky to be showered with so much love and I envy the closeness of your family.

May Allah grant her the highest place in Jannah.

I wish you, your dad and your siblings well.

Now....where is my box of tissues.

Anonymous said...

Dear Kak Ena

I was away from home and did not have the opportunity to access the internet.

The moment I read TWB this week, tears roll down my cheeks. I was emotionally moved with the story and did not realized I am crying.

Thank you Kak Ena for this special story. Your mum is actually an influencial role model to others.

Our Al-Fatihah to your mum.

Nani and Michael
Big Apple

Hi&Lo said...

All I can say is thanks with a lump in my throat after reading the piece and the conversations.

Grateful cos love and kinship make life better and soften our nature.

Once in awhile, we need to be broken down to feel closer with God.

So, please don't stop writing TWB as it's. I am not complaining for shedding a tear or two.

PS. Nuraina, read you had a date with Azmi. I was also there in spirit.

azah said...

abu rabu aka ash wednesday said...

So there we were, the three of us - Bapak, Mak and me. Then Mak said this, to no one in particular...

**************************

Dear Kak Ena

I was there. I remember sleeping malam raya at Section 16 to help Mak out with the last minute cleaning and with the "ayam goreng."

That morning Mak pulled me from the kitchen to the living room where Bapak was seated on a chair.

She went straight to Bapak and knelt before him, took his hand and kissing it for forgiveness.

Bapak bent over and gently patted her head and back.

I stood stunned and was moved by what I saw. Never had I seen this scene of public display of love (if you wish to describe it as love) & affection by both of them.

Abg Med & I looked at each other not knowing what to do because we wanted the "salam bersalaman" thingy done together with the rest of my siblings.

But since Mak had already sought bapak's forgiveness Abg Med& I followed suit.

Dear dear Mak, how could I - we - forget what you have done for us. Thank you for everything - your words of wisdom & all. I hold true to your advice: Always set a good example for your loved ones.

As a wife to a convert & a mother of two teenagers I try hard to put into practice what you had taught us.

May Allah SWT bless your soul, my beloved Mak.

To my siblings I hope you find comfort in this:.

"...when a believer dies everybody grieves & mourns but he/she will be most happy...his/her heart is filled with joy, peace and pleasure for he/she can see far better comfort awaiting him/her and he/she is relieved of this worldly worries.
After going there one does not wish to return..."

Mat Salo said...

Kak Ena,

My mum knew your mum during a time when I was the 'devil incarnate'(some say still am) where they used to meet at Aunty Hasnah's in SS1. I never met Sri Siantan, although my mum had insisted I had, since I was the one that used to drive her there. But my memory is hazy.

During this period in 1990, perhaps maybe 10 days apart, someone very dear to me had also left. My mum's Dad,my grandfather, that one day I would devote whole serials to. So those were painful moments for us Kak Ena. p/s didn't know Nina was the power one... Al-Fatihah to your Mak and My Atuk.

kak ton said...

Nuraina said...

I was shit scared.
Finally, Kak Eda accompanied Kak Ton and I to the medical centre and we had ours done...,

===================================

Yeah! Ena the lil coward!! Remember you turned to me when your name was called saying: “eh, me?? I thought I am here to accompany you guys,” pleading ignorance & trying to wriggle your way out.

Lol!!

And like a child you asked me “sakit tak, sakit tak?” quoting friends who told you that the procedure is painful & to give you a pinch on your arm ”macam ni ke sakit?

Arwah Kak Eda's sense of humour: She asked for a discount since she had only one breast to be examined.

And she got it.

p/s. That was third check. Must thank Noraini (Datin Noraini Sharif, wife of Datuk Rejal Arbee) who had to literally drag (fixing appointment & driving) me to the medical centre for a mammography check in 2001 & 2003.

Ayah said...

Dear K Ena

What a beautiful & touching story. My wife talks a lot about ur blogsite and this is my first real visit. I thought I´d share with you the day I lost my beloved dad.

I was still in the UK..learning my trade as a doctor, soon to be a specialist. In September 1996, he passed away in a hospital in Subang Jaya having suffered a massive heart attack. My wife and I, and baby Hanna were in Newcastle at that time. Things happened so fast that we could not be back in time...not even for his funeral.

Until today I have a strange feeling inside that he´s gone away..on a long leave..coz I didnt get the chance to say goodbye..to ask for his forgiveness. I really miss him.

Ironically, his son has since become a cardiologist...but way too late to help treat his ailments.

Ayah aka Romeo Sr (as my wife alluded to in her comments)

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

mariani: aduh... minta maaf, ya, kalau terbuat mariani emotional.
thank u for visiting... take care,

Raden: Thank you, dalilah. Mother's love for their kids is unconditional, permanent and sincere...
they'd die protecting their kids.
Take care, my dear

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Jorji: Good for you.. take care. and thanks for visiting.

Accia: Thanks, E. Take care.


THQUAh: Thank u.

david santos said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Daphne Ling said...

Hi Aunty Nuraina,

My belated condolences for the passing of your dear mother...I guess it's never too late as a mother's death is felt every day and not just in the immediate days and weeks after...

Death, although a messenger of joy to the one who passes on, it really is a time of immense grief for those left behind...

A salute to Kak Nina for being the pillar of strength during your mum's illness...I remember how difficult it was when my own grandpa was sick...As I was the only one on hols at the time, it was between my grandma and me to see to his needs in the hospital for about 3 months, and Im most thankful to God for giving me the time to do so...

Cheerio,
Daph

KC said...

Kak Ena,

I didn't know mak was Cik Sri Siantan. Al-Fatihah. Semoga roh mak dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di Jannah.

I pray that when the time comes calling, I'd be able to take care of my mak the way she did/still does for me..InsyaAllah.

In a way, your TWB keeps on reminding me about the importance of family values. Thank you so much.

Sedih. Sangat.

Anonymous said...

Dear Kak Ena

Bila pandang gambar your mum, nampak wajah you. You look a like la.

Nani-Big Apple

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Adik: Thank you. Take care. Hope you had enough tissue.

Nani$Michael: Thank you for always visiting. And for the kind words.
(Nani -- i've been told that i look like my mom. Ada-lah jugak.)


Hi&Lo: Thank u, HL.
oh yes... Azmi and I met. We had coffee. Lovely person, she is. And yes... I could feel your presence...

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Mat Salo: Hmmm. apasal boleh lupa. ek? Ada-lah tu.
Sorry to know about your Atuk's passing.
Al-Fatihah for him.

Ayah (Romeo Sr) : Thank you for visiting. If it isn't Romeo Sr, himself.
How sad that you were not able to see your dad. But, you know, there is always a reason for that.
You're too late for treating your dad, but imagine that you're saving the lives of so many others.

By the way, I seem to already know you... from reading Shana's.

Take Care

P.S: How is Romeo Jr and the little women?

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Daphne: Hello Daphne. How are you? Are you ok now? So sorry to know about Chee Keong's passing.
Thank you for visiting here.
Take care.

KC: Yes, she was Cik Sri Siantan.
Not many people knew that.
Thank you, KC for visiting.

zubin said...

Dear Noraina, been a while since meeting you at Malay Mail. I had a surreal dream about my mother on that day, she died 22 Nov 2007. She came back and asked me about my job and keep saying, stay here, stay here!. I was away for a seminar in Bali when she passed away. I didn't get to see her before she left, but I cherished every moment I have spent with her. Al Fatihah to all our mothers.

ilene said...

Hello Nuraina,

It's been a long, long time since I last visited you. Came by today since I have time to spare and saw to my horrors, that I've missed out on so many of your postings. Have to return another day to finish reading all that I've missed.

Your story on your mum really brought tears. Firstly, I related it with my dad who died of heart attack and then secondly, thinking of how am I to cope when my mum's time is up.

Nuraina, have yourself a pleasant and relaxing weekend.

Ayah said...

K. Ena, thanks for the comforting words. I guess all of us have got someone whom we so dearly miss. I guess the fond memories of the times together will forever stay in our hearts and keep us going.

Last week Hasya, our 2nd daughter, an extremely bright and witty 8yo girl, popped me this question as I was driving.

"Ayah...you are a heart doctor. Why didn´t you save Arwah Tuk?" I paused for a moment... I was struggling to explain to her 2 things. First, no doctor can ever save anyone without izin Illahi..and even ´save´itself is too strong a word. Second, I wasn´t there when my dad needed me most. That regret will stay with me for the rest of my life.

On a brighter note, my kidz are fine...and absolutely not missing their dad (as he travels more times than they go to movies with him!).

You seem to already know me? Really? You are not scared yet? Lol! Shana and I are so different in many ways. For instance, she likes to read and write (quite obvious) whilst I do neither. :)

Take care

Ayah

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

zubin: yes, zul. its been a long time. i think since i left the NST.
hope to meet u again, sometime.
I'm sorry to know that u weren;t around when your mother died. It is always something we regret when that happens. It is always hard to get over this. But, time heals, as they say.
Thank you for visiting. Take care.
Al Fatihah to your mum, mine and all arwah ibu2.

Ilene: Hi Ilene... thank u for visiting. So long time, I know. I will make sure I drop u a line. I visit u often, though.
Sorry to make u feel so sad. I didnt mean to. thanks again.

Ayah: My dear Romeo Sr. You are too modest. I can tell you are a fantastic dad. A "single" dad at the moment.
I know how stumped we can be when our little ones come up with unexpected questions.
Take care. And Shana has been a real cool blog sister. As u know, we are planning for her, you and yr brood to come over Kak Ton's for mee rebus.
Take care, Ayah AKA Romeo Sr.
and remember, muah muah to Romeo Jr and yr little women.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Nuraina thank you for your words of comfort. I trully appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

Dear Nuraina,
Long time no post. Sibuk juga, in-laws came over, my pet cat lost then found, abang's car ada break-in, good friend's mom passed on, adik bongsu masuk matrix (Labuan). So many things in one-go. Now ada time to breathe. I hope no more "emergencies" like the past 2weeks. My family will hold a "kenduri-arwah" for my late Pa in June (Gawai holidays, when all family members able to attend) and I will specially dedicated to your late Mum. Semoga ALLAH menempatkan mereka disyurga yang tertinggi. For all you ladies out there, jangan takut menjalani pemeriksaan setiap tahun. I know its frightening and also "malu" but 5 minutes of "malu" can save years of your life. When I first related a tiny portion of my childhood, a reader asked me about my calling to be a nurse. The episode at the mental home traumatised me for some time. In all my little years, I have never seen people being humilated, scolded, beaten. This sort of treatment is unheard of in my ulu kampong. How can people be so cruel to those who are sick? Where was dignity? People come to hospitals only when they are ill. So its not hard to be extra kind, sympathetic and understanding during their illness. In carrying out my duties, I consider this as my "amal jariah". I am so moved by this week's TWB. I read this somewhere: "A son is a son till the day he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter until she dies". Smile now and take pride that you, sisters and all ladies reading this blog make mother's days beautiful. Pray that we all have patience and strength to care for our families and we do this with dignity. I have 2 beautiful mothers. Ma who loves me unconditionally and Ma in-law who dotes on me. Both are opposites in character, Ma is rather quiet and Ma in-law is outgoing. You should see when Ma in-law comes to town and drives my kancil, Ma will be crouching at the back and "berselawat" all the way from and to home. But they get on well. Ok lah, dah panjang cerita ni... my salam to Bapak, family and your dear self, muah2 for Sharmaine. Smile everyone, ALLAH has been Merciful, gave us mothers. Next month we celebrate Father's day!

Rubiah Ariff

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

kata tak nak: i know what you are going through. He is in a better place, cik gu.
Take care and Al-Fatihah for yr beloved brother.


Rubiah: Hello rubiah. long time betul. Well, u must be relieved to get yr breath back. I feel so exhausted just following yr routine.
I thank you Rubiah for wanting to include my arwah Mak in your Pa's tahlil. We appreciate it.
Talking about yr inspiration to take up nursing, i can only say how shocked I am. Many people don;t realise that this sort of thing was and prbably still happening.
What trauma it must have been for you.
thank u, rubiah for sharing.
take care and sharmaine says "hello aunty rubiah, muah muah, goo goo ga ga".

NURAINA A SAMAD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ayah said...

Dear K. Ena

No prob with little Romeo, but muah muah to my 2 little princesses will see them running away screaming!!! Muah muah to their Mommy today, perhaps? Hope she won´t be running away screaming too! Lol...

P.S. That sumptuous mee rebus offer has started me salivating already! ;p

be@uty@dvisor said...

** nangis teruk kat ofis**
boss i dah pandang semacam..
like..ermm..apehal budak ni meraung??
tapi dia tak tanya ape pon..

al fatihah.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Ayah: Hahaa. Are u sure they'd run away screaming.
Ok-lah muah muah mommy lah. heheh,
Yes, doc, the mee rebus waiting.


be@uty@dvisor: alamak. alahai. Boss mesti heran.
Thank u for dropping by.

tessa said...

kak ena,

i remembered rushing to the house the moment i heard the news. but i can't remember whether it was nina or someone from the small circle of friends we belonged to who told me. i can't even remember if i had told my parents about it nor if they were in PJ at that point in time. but i remembered arriving at the house, only a few people were left and i found out that i had missed it.
the family was already at the burial.

but i waited at the hall anyway. waited for nina to come back. and moments later she did. i didn't see anyone else but her coming straight for me with so much visible pain. but nina, being nina, she remained solid - as your late mother was. we just sat in silence for a while. nina probably still trying to regain composure, sniffling a bit. putting up a brave front for me. thinking back, nina had somehow probably known that i too was in a daze, not knowing what to do. it was my first time attending a funeral at a friend's house.

but more importantly, i still remember what nina said to me moments after, and the only thing i remembered of that sad day until today, "tessa, what am i going to do? my mom dah takde..." and sighed. long and hard. i felt your pain, nina. i really did then because you suddenly made me envision myself in the same situation. you know, i do occasionally replay that scene in my mind as we grew up. and like i said, even until recently. tetiba too, kak ena decided to write about your late mom.

how was i supposed to answer my friend then, kak ena? whenever i think about it, i still won't know how to answer her. gosh... she is one of my (now few remaining) best friends. how could i have not known to comfort my grieving friend.

but when we do meet again, nina, i would say, based on the very, very few times i had met your late mom, i know that she would have been happy because she had left behind a girl who had become as nurturing as her (ok, in your own "controlling" way - don't marah, ko memang camtu apa), responsible and very caring. So much so that you had taken that trait to different heights and affected many people. and i wished i could tell your late mom how much i appreciate her as the person who brought you into this life with the grace of God and eventually affecting mine... maybe i just did... i hope...

and because of that, you still retain the rights to call me up out of the blue and do the "mother thing" on me. complete with that stern voice of yours! :)

... and you know, sometimes, when i do get to sit and ponder, i can almost visualize the time when you let me have a "taste" of your family. waking up to familiar noises (yet strange voices) on the 1st day of raya at section 16 when my parents were doing their umrah (or was it the hajj?), kak olin's beautiful wedding coz that was the first time i wore a "real" formal dress, lepak session at kak olin's house (with umm... two of our friends), working with kak ton and of course, your dad - oh man. how can i forget that 1st day at media strategy? scary siot!lepas tu kena panggil duduk sebelah pak samad, buat dictation. oooyo..

so many memories. so keep on thinking of the happier thoughts.

kak ena, thanks for giving me this opportunity to express myself.i had wanted to say this for a long time to my friend but had never found a perfect time and never was one to be "emo" and tetiba blurt it out. nina'd probably think me bonkers. besides, everytime she calls me, it begins most of the time with "woi... kau kat mana ah? lama tak dengar!" (donno who was scarier - uncle samad or his youngest! haha) so it's kinda hard to let her know in our occasional phone conversations reserved for a quick "ketchup" session.

so... tu lah tu. thanks. see you at this year's buka puasa session, i guess - and you'd probably have to explain to everyone at the table again why i salam cium tangan kan? haha.

tessa-messa

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

dear tessa,
woww... i dont know what to say. you are one of Nina's closest friends whom I had known for a long time, since u were in school. SO touching, Tessa.

I have told Nina about your comment. You'll be er, er, hearing from her soon. But I am sure it is not with that "motherly" tone.

thank you, Tessa, for visiting.

mekyam said...

Hi Ena,

First, Al-Fatihah.

Another gem.

As with everybody else rendered motherless, reading this brought my own loss to the surface and it still seared.

But catching this TWB segment late has its own advantages. The comments served as some sort of quick balm and I'm not left in helpless grief.

Another particular advantage of reading the comments all at once is not having to wait for all kinds of interesting insights. Like, for instance...

1) OFF is one awefreakingsome poet and now I'm more convinced than ever that I know her blog-incarnation pre-OFF. If true, I'm glad as I was disappointed when BN(?) bade goodbye some months back in MMRantings comment box. To concentrate on more prosodic pursuits, she said then. Ahem!

2) From the photos: Aunty lalin looked like a nerd. hehehe - Little Kea can be brutally honest. LOL!

3) Seeing another side of the multi-faceted Abu Rabu.

4) I had no make up. Quite unlike me. - Kak Olin saying volumes in so few words. [I'm a sucker for this kind of knack.]

5) Kat Ton, Lalin, Azah adding in vivid touching details...

6) Rubiah's cameo. [You are a rare one, my dear. And I don't think it is just good writing. Something illumes all the way across the ether whenever I read you.]

7) And finally, Tessa's priceless revelation...

Nina is BOSSY! LOL! LOL! LOL! ROFLOL! :D

[Don't you just love best friends? I'm going to call mine right away to tell her there is a reason for her existence after all... ;D]

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

hi Mekyam,
Nice to see you.
Was wondering when you'd show up...
THANKS,

kak ton said...

Mekyam said...

Nina is BOSSY! LOL! LOL! LOL! ROFLOL! :D
==================================

Yeah, she is!!

Thank God she is our youngest!

We just humour her.:))

mekyam said...

Ena, you haven't checked your email again, obviously. :D

Anonymous said...

Mekyam said: "...now I'm more convinced than ever that I know her blog-incarnation pre-OFF. If true, I'm glad as I was disappointed when BN(?) bade goodbye.."

So...OFF = BN = Bon Nini?

Hmmm...could be, could be

Anonymous said...

Anon@3:48 PM said:
So...OFF = BN = Bon Nini?

In that case,
OFF = BN = Bon Nini = Kak Limah

QED

Made In Heaven said...

I've never read your mom's column but I have her piece in one of the books on your dad. I believe there isn't a compilation on your mom's articles yet.

It's timely to publish one in her memory. Do it before you publish this blockbuster of yours.

Thank you.

Made In Heaven said...

May I add, you should also publish selected articles by yourself when you were in NST. I remember you even had a column for too brief a time called Both Sides Now. You also wrote personal stuff about your trips to Singapore, about politics and Umno, about places overseas. You deserve a compilation. Or we, the faithful readers of the old NST, deserve your compilation.

So, my suggestion:

1. Publish your articles from your NST days
2. Publish compilation on your mom's writings
3. Launch TWB, a sure blockbuster. If you can add in the sex, beer and the sex, it'd be a better seller than Tun Dr Ismail's The Reluctant Politician, I dare say!

LUBOK MELAYU said...

Dalam hidup kita, kita berpisah dengan ibu kita sebanyak dua kali. Pertama kalinya, semasa kita dilahirkan. Kedua kalinya, bila salah seorang dari kita -- ibu atau anak -- meninggal dunia. Kedua-dua detik tersebut diikuti tangisan. Bila aku dilahirkan, aku menangis kerana berpisah dari rahim ibuku. Bila ibu meninggal dunia, aku menangis kerana kehilangan ibu.

Tapi kalau anaknya yang pergi dahulu sebelum si ibu, yang kita akan dengar ialah sebuah ratapan.

Ibu itu pelita hati,
Kasihnya dibawa mati.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Mekyam: I know your mother passed away not too long ago. I am so sorry about that. Al-Fatihah for your beloved mum, dear Mekyam.

Mekyam, Anon@3.48 & QED : Are you all now convinced that OF=BN=Bon Nini=Kak Limah?

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Made In Heaven : Oooh... I am reminded of the good old days at the NST.
Now, I don't know whether I would able to publish all those things that I wrote for the NST.
Seems like just yesterday that i was writing Both Sides Now.
It is a tempting thought.
You have got me really excited about the prospect.
And my mom's articles. Will surely think about that too.
Thank you for visiting.

LUBOK MELAYU: Bapak kehilangan isteri tersayang dan dua orang anak.
Bila arwah Mak meninggal/meninggalkan Bapak, tangisan nya kami tidak dapat lihat tapi kesedihan nya memang kami dapat rasa.
Bila Kak Piah meninggal, Bapak tak nak ke pengkebumian. Bapak beritahu kami dia terlalu sedih.
"How can I bury my daughter?", dia meratap.
Bila Kak Eda meninggal, Bapak terlalu sedih. Sering termenong. Kadang2, macam dia lupa...tanya kami kenapa Kak Eda lama tak datang melawat dia.

Dr ve Thru said...

Nuraina, sorry I have not visited a while. Something prompted me to and reading this post brought tears to my eyes.
So many have commented here so I won't say much except thank you for reminding me to appreciated life and all around me.
God bless.

Anonymous said...

Ena said:
"Mekyam, Anon@3.48 & QED : Are you all now convinced that OF=BN=Bon Nini=Kak Limah?"

Let me go one step further. I daresay OFF = BN = BON NINI = Kak Limah = ...

... Datin Halimah Mohd Said!

- Quod Erat Demonstrandum

My apologies, Datin, for unmasking you. It's a tickle waiting to be scratched. I know this is hardly a consolation, but as a commentor, you have my utmost respect.

~ The Sleuth

mekyam said...

Ena: Are you all now convinced that OF=BN=Bon Nini=Kak Limah?

Dear Ena,

I said: If true... OFF = BN

Anon@3:48 PM asked: So...OFF = BN = Bon Nini?

Then Anon@5:18 PM went: In that case, OFF = BN = Bon Nini = Kak Limah - QED

So as you can see,

Cautious MekYam serkap jarang terhitung.

The two Anons pandai2 jer cantum.

Kalau OFF/Bon Nini/Kak Limah sue(s) our collective punggung

Let's see if Anon@5:18 can repeat quod erat demonstrandum! ;D

[To les deux Anons, that you MRH?]

Sherlock said...

Mekyam said:
"[To les deux Anons, that you MRH?]"

Far from it, Mekyam. Dunno if Mat Rempit Hubris ever visits this blog.

'Tis none other than your resident schizo, les deux Anons. And, of course, the Sleuth.

mekyam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
NURAINA A SAMAD said...

EWoon:

Eric, you are right.... i missed a response to to you.
sorry sorry sorry....

You know, I could have sworn i keyed in evrything. It's not like me to miss anyone, except maybe, my own siblings.

Sorry. here goes my very belated response -- eric, so sorry you got so teared..
the next one won't get u so emotional, i promise

sha said...

nice blog...

i like ur blog.. ^^

Anonymous said...

I was there in Masjid Al Malik Faisal when solat janazah was performed. And the first time I saw your father the great writer and journalist A Samad Ismail.
I saw him frequented the masjid there besides Solat Jumaat.
Well, I never spoke to him I but I saw this humble old man with thick glasses.
But I left the campus but returned to Sek 17 in 2005 less than a year and again frequented the mesjid. But I cant remember seeing him in that short time in Sek 17.