Thursday, May 31, 2007

Isn't It Too Soon?

I am remembering
Her face
I am remembering
Her Tears
Won't she know
Though she is here no more
Won't she weep
Though she is gone
You can't fool her
You can't fool her memory
Must you?
So soon after she's left us
for Him

Isn't it too soon
just too soon
Their pain has not left them
Their hearts are weeping
They are still grieving
Still aching

Is this for you
Or for them
Isn't it just too soon
For you
To take another


Adik said...

Dear Kak Nuraina

If it is abt what I am thinking, I am so sad.

Am terribly sad. My heart goes to the children.

That soon?

Nora aka Anon Fm. Miri said...

That is what we called life Kak.


When my mom died in 1997, my dad was about 70. He looked much younger, though. And was a very fit man. How fit? Well, half a year after she left us, I took him to the Lima show in Langkawi. We spent a couple of nights at a hotel facing the sea. About a km out was an island. I don't know its name but my dad asked me then if I wanted to race him to the island. I declined and sat there watching him swim free-style to the island. He stayed on bit on that island to rest before swimming back. I knew my father was a great swimmer but he was over 70, for heaven's sake.

The makciks and the neneks at the kampung urged him to take another wife. My dad would not hear of it. He loved my mom too much. If he had wanted to take another, none of us would have stopped him.

I saw my dad cried only once in my life. It was the day after my mom died. Not when she died and not at the funeral. The day after my mom died, I was driving her sister home in Sungai Jernih, about 16km from our kampung. She told my dad what my mom had told her a day before she went into a coma. She told her sister, "Please make sure the kids (us) take care of his (my dad's) makan-minum." My dad cried ever so softly. Those weren't crocodile tears.


adik: my heart goes out to them too....

nora: yes...i agreee. that's life. sometimes good, sometimes bad. sometimes cruel, sometimes sad.

ahirudin: i remember the stories you told me about them.
Your dad was heartbroken when your mum died. He never took another, did he?
And, no... those were not crocodile tears.

My dad did not weep when my mother died. Only once when Pak Cik Melan hugged him during the funeral. And that was, I think when he lost his guard.
But people told us they often saw him at the nearby Al-Malik Faisal mosque from maghrib to isya, and immersed in the yassin. He couldnt help being recognised.
Bapak remarried about 2 years after Mak died. We had nothing to do with this. Our cousin did. We almost sent her to coventry.
But, over time we understood why he needed to remarry. WE finally accepted. It was certainly not easy in the beginning.

I believe women are made of sterner stuff.
I know of so so many women who haver remained widows for a very long time.
My own aunt lost her husband when she was in her 30s. she was beautiful. she never remarried. i dont think she ever thought about it.

i alwasy thought "religious" men would be stronger than other "mere mortals".
See how very wrong we can be. My own misperception.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Yes it is too soon
Too soon to replace a love lost
Too soon to forget
Too soon to let go

Too soon the memories fade
Too soon the bond detach
Too soon the tears dry
Too soon to say Forever Goodbye

Anonymous said...

Life is like that. Religious or "mere mortals" will give excuses to justify their act


kata tak nak: thank you. a poignant touch.
but, for some is not too soon.
sometimes, as they say, "kubur masih basah".

anon @ 9.38am: i agree. usually, it's all about lust. what else.

Anonymous said...

i just cried when i read this posting of dad passed away in April and he was bed ridden for abt 2 was not his wife who took care of him, his children who are my sis and my bro most of the times and myself when i could drive up to KL mum died 16 years ago and i feel for the kids....

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of my own cousin who wanted to remarry 3 months after his wife's death. He came to see my mother, telling her how lonely he was, how he can't sleep at night, takut nak tidur, and grab this, even the sound of the cicak at night frightend him! This is all preamble lah... before he announces he is going to marry his secretary. Man!

ordinarywoman said...

My father passed away at 40 leaving my mother (who was 34 at that time) to single-handedly bring up 2 children (9 & 6 years old). Today, almost 31 years later, our family of 3 has grown to 10 (my brother has 2 children and I have 3) and my mother remains unmarried. She always says that only woman can remain widows while men will always remarry. My husband has told me that he will not remarry if I go first (my mother scoffs at it, of course). But deep down, I know that he will keep to his word. I think some men need a women in their lives no matter how much they loved their late wives but there are others who can go on with life minus a new wife especially when they have the responsibility of bringing up the children. Whatever it is, it'll always be difficult for the children. Even till today, I feel the loss of my father eventhough I was only 6 at that time. My heart goes out to them.

p/s I've really been enjoying your blog! This is my first comment bec it's an issue very close to my heart.


anon@10.32: so sad to hear about yr dad. what wonderful children he had.
Thank u for visiting. Take care.

anon@11.38: hahaa! excuses excuses. That's what they all say. yadda yadda yadda...
sexcretary some more...
thanks for visiting.

ordinarywoman:your mom demonstrated the strength of the hand that rocks the cradle. steely determination to raise her kids. i admire her. we all have so much to thank for in the world to women like your mom. May God bless her.
And i think He already has.
thanks for visiting.
I just clicked on yr blog. I've bookmarked it. nice. i will be visiting.
take care

Kak Teh said...

oh dear!


Kak Teh (Ah): yes...oh dear