Friday, May 18, 2007

In Loving Memory


Yesterday, Thursday May 17, 2007 was Kak Eda's birthday.
Kak Eda would have turned 52 but she is no longer with us. She died peacefully at home on March 8, while on treatment for secondary cancer. (She had breast cancer and had a mastectomy in 2004. But last year, she had a relapse.)
I wanted to post an entry about her birthday yesterday but was too sad to even be reminded of it. But, my daughter, Shaira insisted I make a posting about Kak Eda's birthday. She knew that I was very close to her Tante Eda.

I called her children. Only the youngest Mariam was at home. Her older siblings -- Safiyah and Hajar were at school while Umar was having games at the padang.
Mariam said she "cried a bit", as she misses her Ummi very much.
I spoke to her Abah (father), Aziz, who told me that he reminded them of their Ummi's birthday.
"They were, of course, sad, but they're alright. I told them to always remember their Ummi in their prayers."

I remember the last time we celebrated her birthday. Hers had always been a low-key affair. Just Aziz, her kids, siblings and nephews and nieces. Those days when Bapak was a little more hale and hearty, he would be at her house as well to join in the simple celebration.

The last time we celebrated, Kak Eda prepared Macaroni Soup for the kids, chicken drumsticks and potato salad. Kak Ton brought spaghetti bolognese (for pasta variety) and Kak Olin brought her signature mee hoon goreng basah. Lalin baked a special birthday cake and I brought chocolates and fruits. There was a time, Kak Eda refused to blow candles. But in the last few years, she did not seem to mind. Go with the flow, I reckon. But I really think she just didn't have the stamina to fight about it with us.

We really miss you, Kak Eda. You are always in our hearts and our prayers.

Al-Fatihah.

(Photos: Azah (left) and Kak Eda taken in 1962 or 63.)

36 comments:

Nora said...

Al-Fatihah.
May Her soul rest in peace, Kak

kak tom said...

Ena

AS usual last nite being Malam Jumaat I baca Yassin after Maghrib dan sedekahkan fadhilat surah tu kpd Arwah Emak, Kak Piah and Eda....but forgot abt the significance of May 17.

WANSHANA said...

K.Ena,

I could feel your love for your K.Eda reading this entry. And needless to say - I was moved to tears.

Semoga roh arwah ditempatkan di golongan para soleh dan solehah...Aamin. Al-Fatihah.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

nora: Thank you, bro.

kak ton: you know, kan. I only remember the birthdays of mak and bapak, and yours, kak olin's and kak eda's.

even yours and kak olin's, i don't get them quite right.

kak eda's i never never get it wrong.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

shana: till today, i cannot believe she is gone. I don't know why. I still see her face. i still see her.
it will take sometime before her death, her passing is real to me.

Aziz said...

Thank You Ena...

We will always remember her as the one who inspired us to get close to Allah..

J.T. said...

May her soul rest in peace.
March 8 was not long ago, Nuraina. I can understand how you feel. My mum passed away in February 2006 and I still feel her. I have dreams about her.

You still see and feel Kak Eda because she is very much a part of you.

"No one really dies, they just live on the hearts who love them."

mekyam said...

Dear Ena,

I remember when you first started TWB, I read in the comment box that Kak Eda said she might contribute something. Guess she left before she could. But those we love who leave first, they continue to inspire us.

Al-Fatihah to your Kak Eda.

Yesterday when I chatted with your Kak Ton and Abg Med, I said life is fatal. I meant of course physical life.

But we all know (even those in denial) that life is eternal. And THAT is why you still feel her. You will forever!

kak ton said...

ena

It is not that I've forgotten about her cuz she is always in my prayers (just like arwah Mak & Kak Piah)...after every solat.

I know that her date of birth is May 17.

It is just that I simply forgot that day - Thursday - was May 17.

Aziz said...

Mekyam,

I posted that comment.After reading the first few postings of TWB which i printed out for her , Eda said she also wanted to give her comments when she gets better.She never did.
But we are all sure that she is much better now.. being cared by Allah.
Amin!!

Mat Salo said...

Kak Ena,

Why am I crying? I don't even know her. I'm crying for her children, for the love that will forever be denied. My Alesha Michelle turned one the day before her birthday (May 16th). I cried for her too, because Papa is in Indonesia denying her daddy's presence and love on her very first birthday. My only daughter.. after waiting 15 years ( I got two boys 13 and 6) for her.

Now I cannot forget these dates; etched into memory. What's more, my dear friend and classmate Suhami Sulaiman celebrated his on May 15th.

Salaam and Al-Fatihah to Kak Eda.

P/S Brutish oilfied types like me aren't supposed to have "emotions", let alone cry. Gotta get up there on the drill floor, kick a few tools around, put on my "front", show' em I'm boss, let's drill ahead...

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

JT: It is so hard, isn't it? I've always imagined Kak Eda and I in our old age.. our grandkids around us. It was not meant to be, God has his reasons. Thank u, JT.

Mekyam: thank u, Mekyam. You remembered that? At that time, we were visiting her regularly. She told me that she read my blog, especially TWB. She would get Aziz to make a print-out of the latest episode, as it were. And she said there was so much she wanted to contribute.
In fact, there were times, I'd call her to, or if I was visiting her, ask to clarify certain details. In her debilitating condition, she would still be able to recall certain things which i was not able to.
I'd ask her :"Was kak Olin around at that time?" or "Was Nina downstairs or upstairs asleep?".
I suppose she just never got around to posting the things she wanted to say.

Thanks again, Mekyam

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Aziz,

you're so welcomed. she was our very beloved sister.
oh..how i can still remember her sitting with me in Mak's room after Adel (my firstborn) was born, while i was dalam pantang.
i kept asking her to get to the "nice and beautiful hadith"..the nice stories.
"Alah, tak nak dengar hadith yang menakutkan..." I'd tell her.

And she would narrate to me the beautiful stories. They made me just want to go to heaven.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Mat Salo,
Here, bro. Here, have a tissue.

Mat, you've got a soft heart.
Brutish macho men like you are a softie inside.
Nampak sikit punya tough, Oh, memang lah tough. berani. Gagah...tapi, kalau kalau dengar budak kena langgar, adoi..sedih, air mata meleleh sedih.
I know tough guys like you have the biggest heart of gold, such hug compassion.
Thank you, Mat Salo.

And now, i am weeping for Alesha. She misses her daddy for sure.
But don;t feel too terribly... bukan you di perantauan bersuka2, berfoya2...kan?

Demi keluarga, demi kasih sayang anak isteri...

KakDah said...

Salam,

Semoga Allah yg Esa mencucuri rahmat kepada arwah, dan kepada keluarga arwah bersabarlah menghadapi ujian Allah ini....hidup perlu diteruskan sebaik mungkin.

jorji said...

al fatihah.
semoga rohnya berbahagia.

a malaysian in riyadh said...

Sis Ena
Read this immediately after you posted it yesterday but had to rush for Elham's aqiqah at a nearby dewan before I could leave a comment.

To Allah we belong and unto Him we return. May her soul rest in peace. Al-Fatehah, dan sesungguhnya Allah lebih menyayangi arwah Kak Eda.
aMiR

old female fart said...

So sad Nuraina especially for the children. But grieving heals, and the Malay Muslim communal grieving is so therapeutic. When my mother died I was devastated, more so because there was no time to say goodbye! Sudden deaths are traumatic because loved ones are left with so much guilt. At that time I thought I was grieving and praying more for myself - a kind of catharsis!

QueenB said...

Al-Fatihah.
May Her soul rest in peace.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Kakdah: Terima kasih. Ya. kakdah, memang betul... terima kasih

Jorji; Thank you.

aMiR: thank you. How was the aqiqah for elham?

O.F. fart: Thank you.. yes. indeed. thank you.

QueenB: Thank you

a malaysian in riyadh said...

Alhamdulillah he behaved when it mattered most. Eventhough he saw the Ustaz holding a pair of scissors to snip his hair, he didn't panick and start crying. He also didn't shut his mouth when the Ustaz wetted it with zam zam water and later slipped in slices of kurma. Last week we had tough time when he kept on clenching his fist everytime we tried to get his thumbprints for his travel documents.

Azah said...

Dear Kak Ena

Not a day passes without me thinking about arwah Mak, Kak Piah & Kak Eda.

In the case of Kak Edah I was with her during the last few months before she passed away.

I drove her around because she couldnt drive by then, took over the househols chores, bathed her & dressed her up, cooked for her & fed her.

We were very close but the time spent with her during her illness strengthened the bond.

I learned from her the meanining of patience, "redha", faith & love - love not ONLY for your immediate family but that ultimate love for HIM, the ONE & ONLY.

Although she is gone she is still here in my heart with every doa I utter for her after every prayer.

May Allah SWT bless her soul and place her "roh" among the pious.

Al Fatiha.

Amin.

sesat said...

Dear Nuraina,

It must be hard for you losing the sister (prematurely) closest to your age and with whom you shared such a strong bond.

I will not launch into a recital of well worn phrases like "time heals all wounds" and "this too will pass" because the sadness of losing a loved one doesn't go away, it just dims with the passage of time. You learn to live with it and accept it as part and parcel of your life.

You feel the same sadness on occasions such as her birthday and the anniversary of her passing. You mark the milestones in her children's lives with mixed emotions, of joy and of indignation that she had been denied the pleasure of being part of these momentous events.

Your Kak Eda will forever live in your heart.

Jay said...

Dear Tante

Although Tante Eda has been gone for more than two months she will always be in our hearts.

My list of doa for our departed loved ones has grown longer for every new death in the family.

It has been the house rule laid down by mommy that Thursday nite (Malam Jumaat) is the time we recite Yassin for our loved ones who are gone.

I recite the Yassin and offer it to arwah Andung, Cik Piah, Tok Hashim, Uncle Teh & Tante Eda & all Muslims & Muslimah, Mukmin & muminat.

We recited the "Yassin" last thursday nite for, among others, Arwah Tante Edah, without realizing that day would have been her 52nd birthday.

Dear Tante Eda, you've not been forgotten. We love you and always will and in my doa after every prayer is to beg Allah SWT to ampunkan dosa, terima amalan dan meletakkan roh tante ku yang disayangi di golongan yang soleh.

So rest in peace, my beloved Tante.

Al-Fateha.

Amin.

Jehan

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

sesat: thank you. how aptly you have put it.

aMiR: what a clever little boy, elham is.

acciaccatura said...

assalamualaikum Kak Ena,
hmm... bila baca cerita sebegini,memang rasa sebak dan terus teringat arwah afifah. nak telan air liur pun susah. arwah afifah was born on the 12th May,1999.
Al Fatihah to arwah Kak Eda and arawah Afifah.

Keanorlinsya said...

Mama kirim salam takziah to you and her family. She baru tahu. She knows aunty eda too she said. From the uitm years.

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Accia: Thank you, E. You must miss arawah Afifah. Al-Fatihah.

Kea: Thank you. Plse kirim salam to yr mum.

azah : yes... all tht remain are memory.

jehan: we all share the grief. thanks, jehan.

AHIRUDIN ATTAN said...

Ena,

Alfatihah buat Kak Eda. I hope Aziz and the kids are alright. Aziz must stay strong, for the kids. They are small and need their Abah to be there for them. Allah bless her.

And Mat Salo,
I never regarded you as "macho" but the picture of you drilling away in the wilderness, with sweat and tears over missing your girl's birthday and a friend's loss, reminds me Charles Bronson at his peak.and few men appear more man than Bronson.

Ibu said...

kak eda, semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas allahyarhamah.. amin.

Hamdan said...

Kak Ena (I hope you don't mind me calling you that. I think "Kak Nuraina" sounds too formal...)

I hardly know you and your family, but like many other readers of 3540 Jalan Sudin, I feel like I'm almost part of your family.

I grew up reading Bapak's writings in .... guess what! GILA GILA!!! I was just not fortunate enough to read his journalistic works.

Kak Ena, I know you will continue blogging, to serve our thirst for your thoughts and ideas.

You see, I make it a point to drop a line or two everytime you stirred my emotions with your postings. I pray that Kak Eda's ruh blessed and showered with Allah's love.

Salam & good night.

Azmi said...

Dear Nuraina,
I don't know your Arwah K.Eda but I am still saddened as I can appreciate your grief. Al-Fatihah for Eda and semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh nya. Amin.
Warmest regards,

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

ahirudin attan AKA Rocky; The children are fine. They have a loving father. I know what they are going through. Kak Eda quit her job as an interior designer to "menyambut seruan" -- she gave her all to Allah and the ways that He had presecribed. She took care of her children full-time, There were no nannies. When she had to go overseas for a couple of weeks, every now and again, to do missionary work, her dad and mum-in-law would take over the household.

I know you never got to meet her becos she was in her purdah and hijab and never mingled with the men "outside" during gatherings at Bapak's. You would have liked her a lot.

Thank you for visiting, bro.

Ibu: Thank you, Ibu.

Hamdan: You can call me Kak Ena, of course. Thank you.
It is nice to note that you feel so much a part of Jalan Sudin, through what I write.
Yes, I do remember the Gila-Gila articles Bapak wrote years ago.
I think he actually had fun writing the articles.
Hamdan, thanks again for visiting.

Azmi: Thank you, Azmi for visiting. I will be visiting you, in a while, as I always do in the mornings.

Take care.

adik said...

Dear Kak Nuraina

Your late sister Kak Eda is much loved by your family from what I read in this blog.

Alhamdulliliah.

May her soul rest in peace.

Al-Fatihah.

Zahar Harun said...

Aina,

Don't know whether you remember me but I knew both your late sister and you whilst in school. Please accept my deepest condolences.

Zahar

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

Adik: Yes, Adik. She was very much loved.
Thank you for visiting.

Zahar Harun: We only knew one Zahar and it was Azhar Harun, otherwise known as Czar. Cousin to Aishah Manaf and eldest brother to Lilin, Chichi, Pipit, Misha, Manchu and Sonia.
If you are not that Czar, then....er..er, i'll try to squeeze my brain to remember.
Anyway, thank u for visiting and for the condolence.