Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Tuesdays Without Bapak

Told Kak Olin the other day that I feared the day Bapak would leave us. I feared the moment. I feared what I would have to face. I feared the morning after.

We were talking about it the evening Bapak breathed his last at the ICU of Pantai Medical Centre.

But when that moment came, I was too numb to feel anything, much less fear.

I think we all went through the motion of getting things done for him -- you know, to get him home, to prepare his grave...nothing actually sank in.

Did we weep?

A TV reporter, when interviewing me after Bapak's funeral, asked me whether I was keeping it all inside? Actually, it was not a question. It was a statement. He said I was keeping it all inside.

He could be right. But I told him that if the interview went a little longer, I'd probably be too weepy to say anything. I didn't think he believed me.

There were several occasions when I "sebak" and silently wept -- when I first saw him lying motionless, tubes in his mouth and limbs, on the hospital bed, then again at his bedside when he it was so clear that he was not ever going to get better, the evening he died, when I took part in pouring water over his covered body during "mandi jenazah" and later, when his shrouded body was lowered into his grave.

But those were brief moments.

It is during my "doa" after prayers that I weep over our loss. An aching loss. Over how much we miss him. The emotions come flooding, gushing, when I "sedekah "Al-Fatihah for him, for Allah SWT to bless his soul.

Of course, one day Bapak would leave us. We knew that.
But, I thought I would be prepared for the eventuality.
After 12 days going in and out of the ICU as Bapak laid critically ill, we all thought we would be prepared. How wrong we were.

But we are thankful that when he left us, it was on a blessed day of a blessed month. We thank Allah SWT for that.

I remember talking to Nina the day before Bapak passed away. We were looking, gazing into the glass door, at our Bapak. We were wondering how long he'd be that way.

I told her about a friend's father who was in hospital for three weeks before the doctors asked the family to make a decision.

We shivered. What a horrible thought.

Nina's eyes teared.

"Ya Allah," she whispered, her hands in supplication, "please, please, don't let us have to make the decision, If papa has to go, You decide and You take him...", and she wept.

Bapak (Nina calls him papa) died peacefully the next day. He was unconscious. His eyes opened slightly as Nina completed reciting the Yassin, and then, slowly shut. The the monitor triggered the red alert.

My step-mum was also there, reciting the Fatihah.

The nurses rushed in and said "Tan Sri is no more"....

Both my step-mum and Nina were in a daze, trying to absorb the moment as the nurses rushed to Bapak.

"He went so peacefully just as I finished reciting the Yassin," Nina kept saying. You could sense that she found much comfort in that.

Ramadhan this time, is, of course. different. But it is not sad, in a sorrowful way.

We've been warned that we'll feel the aching loss during Aidilfitri.

We feel it now.

We lost our mother in 1990. Then, our eldest sister, Kak Piah in 1994. And only last year, we lost Kak Eda.

We grieve. People do not quite get over the loss of their loved ones. They heal in different ways.

I know I can never quite utter the word "arwah". I could not for Mak, Kak Piah or Kak Eda.

May Allah bless your soul, dear Bapak....gone, but always in our hearts, in our prayers.

Al-Fatihah.

79 comments:

Anonymous said...

may Allah give you and your family patience during this difficult moment

T.Spitzer said...

My heart goes out to you and your dear family, Nuraina. Please take care.

daud said...

Takziah Kak Aina.Moga Allah merahmati arwah Pak Samad .Kalo boring2 nak tahu pasal fizik bacalah blog saya ni.Saya buat artikel pasal LHC

Dhahran Sea said...

Salam Nuraina,
Semoga Allah swt give you & your family strength in the coming days...

Shaira Nur Idris said...

:'(

Hang in there, mommy. I love you...

A Voice said...

I know how you feel. I lost my father 18th Ramadhan.

Aidil Fitri is always a reminder for us that he left us hardly two week before.

I had just graduated and returned home. If I had my way, I would have not returned but remained in the States to work.

Somehow events develop as to make me be there, when he began to fall ill and deteriorate.

I had just began working for few months and could only contribute to my parents on my second month.

On my fourth month, I gave it to him instead of mother, before leaving back to KL on one of my weekend trip.

It was only later told to me he held that money closed to him and tears came out from his eyes. He said, "Dapat aku merasa duit anak."

He was already sickly. In the following week, he was hospitalised and that was the last I see him at home.

I always regreted not having him around on many of my most crucial moment in life, where I really needed fatherly advise.

If it had been around, many things would have been different. It may not necessarily be any better but less of those costly and troublesome mistakes.

Now mother is getting old and weakening.

That life cycle will continue. It will be our turn and others will be worried of us.

As it is, I can feel I am not as physically fit as what I used to be.

Estrelita Soliano Grosse said...

May I know the meaning of "Arwah"?

My deepest condolences on such a painful loss. Your dad lives on in you and all those whose lives he touched.

Anonymous said...

only those had went through those moment would understand........

Zoe Ragdoll said...

I pray to Him to grant you strength and patience, Kak Ena.

My eyes welled up so much with tears... but the realisation that I'm still in the office while reading this had yanked me back to reality...

Anonymous said...

May Allah give you His best heart and His utmost blessing.

Samuel Goh Kim Eng said...

You have left behind your name
Not because of personal fame
But as a reminder of your flame
That life is more than a game

(C) Samuel Goh Kim Eng - 050908
http://MotivationInMotion.blogspot.com
Fri. 5th Sept. 2008 (1st posted)
& Tue. 9th Sept. 2008 (reposted).

Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Ena
It will be a while before reality sinks in. It took me three years before I cried over my dad’s death. And he died suddenly. I didn’t get to care for him because he wasn’t sick.
I buried my eldest brother much earlier, then my dad. They were the two most important men in my life.
But I redha dengan ketentuan Allah SWT.
And each time I am reminded of them, I sedekahkan Fatihah and Yaasin.

Anonymous said...

I felt the same when my beloved father-in-law passed away July last year. My husband and I just went abt doing stuff for the funeral .... now when we are having dinner, when we are sitting in his room, when we buying his favourite food, when we are watching his favourite programs, we felt that he just left us yesterday ...take care

TTS said...

May Allah give you strength to face this moment..

Anonymous said...

kak ena,
by reading this make's me even stronger to sujud at the very last rakaat each solat and doa for both my parents for their well being and husnulkhatimah dikala sakaratal maut.. doa anak2lah yang terbaik..

again al - fatihah to bapak

azlan

Anonymous said...

hi
ten years ago I lost my dad in March then a few months later I lost my baby daughter,and I thought that would have unhinged me.But realities of life prevailed.There were others that needed my love; my wife, my daughter.Sometimes,as I found out,it takes something as traumatic as this to open our eyes to some things so simple as love of life and people we care about.
Reading your blogs I think back on those events and I can understand your sadness but you will know already that you will have those memories of your dad that will live in you, and that will now and then give you strength to move forward.That's the treasure you inherited.

Panglima Perang Cyber said...

1. Did you (O Muhammad SAW) not think of those who went forth from their homes in thousands, fearing death? Allah said to them, "Die". And then He restored them to life. Truly, Allah is full of Bounty to mankind, but most men thank not.
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #243)

2. Everyone is going to taste death, and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good, and to Us you will be returned.
( سورة الأنبياء , Al-Anbiya, Chapter #21, Verse #35)

3. It is Allah Who takes away the souls at the time of their death, and those that die not during their sleep. He keeps those (souls) for which He has ordained death and sends the rest for a term appointed. Verily, in this are signs for a people who think deeply.
( سورة الزمر , Az-Zumar, Chapter #39, Verse #42)

May Allah bless your father and your family !

Al Fatihah !!!!

Panglima Perang Cyber,
http://penembak-tepat.blogspot.com

ibrahim yahaya said...

Ena,

Selepas bersembahyang jenazah bersama makmum lain di Masjid UIA, saya berdoa agar Allah SWT menempatkan roh Pak Samad bersama-sama roh orang-orang yang soleh.

Doa seterusnya, "Ya Allah, ampunilah hambamu, kasihanilah dia, sihatkanlah dan maafkanlah kesalahan-kesalahan dia serta jadikanlah syurga tempat hambamu tinggal." Di bulan mulia dan berkat ini, pintu syurga dibuka dan pintu neraka ditutup oleh Allah SWT. Amin.

(Gambar - Perjalanan Terakhir dalam DUNIATIGER .

Anonymous said...

Dear Nuraina,
It's just over a year since my mother pased away after a week in that same ICU. And I continue hurting. Yesterday, I had to take my girl to Pantai to see an ENT Dr. and even as I was driving into the car park, which I had driven in and out I think over a hundred times, from the time she was first admitted in April, till the time I was left to singlehandedly care for her for a period of about one month - during which time I drove in and out of there at least five times daily- when she breathed her last, and my heart was so heavy and my tears just poured down. My teenaged girl was so worried for me. I don't think the pain of losing our sibling or parents ever goes away, esp for folks like me who are racked with guilt whether we could have done more, done better etc. In your case, you and your family can take comfort from the fact that you came together to do your best for your dad. I see in the news pix all of you are together and I think that is most important. That's a very beautiful thing about Malay people, the supreme importance you give to matters of live and death, and how you come together at such times. What a lovely culture. I digressed here a bit, but may you find strength in the Almighty and in the knowledge that your Dad is in a better place now. God Bless.

Rocky's Bru said...

Shivadas said something the night Bapak passed away. Why hadn't he gone and seen Pak Samad more often when he was still alive? I felt the same. Not just about Bapak but also about my dad when he was ill, my father-in-law who passed away recently, my nephew in Johor, and my mom whom I miss so much after all these years ...

Yep, we don't really get over the passing of our loved ones.

Anonymous said...

Alfatihah...Ena, the weepy moments will come and go, most unexpectedly, but ride them well, as that is the only way to face your grief. I lost my dad earlier too. Whenever I get a glimpse of someone who looks or speaks like him, I go"sebak", the same over my late mother. My way to comfort myself is to still "converse" with them, and imagine their reactions and responses. It really helps,it is as though they had never left - maybe physically but not from my heart and mind. Easier to cope being anal yatim piatu that way, even at middle age.

I wish you and your family well...you will never ever get used to the loss, trust me,but it gets less painful as you pile on the doas and bacaan surah yassin for them.

Take care, dear Ena.

From a friend who can feel your pain...

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

i'm struggling to find the right word. i can only offer my deepest condolences to you, aunty maria and the whole family over such a great loss. may Allah gives you strength in going through this trying moment. Amin.

JuJu Eyedaa said...

Kak Nuraina,

Tears shed as I was reading this post. I still have my parents, 4 younger sisters and a brother. But I could relate to what u are feeling. I hope Allah will bless you and your family with strength to cope, survive this loss. Its ok to weep a little...to release some emotions.

Allah had granted Nina's prayers, not to put you and family in the situation to choose. My friend's mother has been in coma for nearly 2 months. The family was asked to choose. She and siblings "redho" and willing to let go, but her father is still strongly hoping for a miracle. Up to this moment, her mom is still on life support.

terpegun said...

It will take time, but he was blessed to go so peacefully. As you have said, we will still remember those who have left us in our own way. May you carry on your good work and shine brigther along the way.

mutalib saifuddin said...

kak ena,

i think that i'm feeling the same way. it's hard, actually, to quip the dead ones as "arwah" ifelt it since 1994, when my late nanny/aunt passed on..

betullah. but the only thing that i can do, is to pray that her soul be blessd by Him.

be patient kak ena..He loves Pak Samad more..

Anonymous said...

Salaam Ena,

Pak Samad dijemput Allah pada hari baik, bulan baik. Hanya hambaNya yang terpilih saja yang melalui saat sebegini. Pak Samad adalah insan terpilih. Perginya juga dalam tenang. Bersemangatlah menghadapi ketentuan Allah swt. Pak Samad tetap dikenang sebagai pejuang bangsa yang terulung. Al-Fatihah0....MatKodiang.

penangumnoboy said...

Dugaan Allah.
Sabarlah.
Kirim salam kat Nina dan ucap takziah from her classmate in U.

the Razzler said...

Dear Kak Ena & family..

I know the feeling .. my Dad left us 16 years ago & my Mum, 4 years ago.

Their love & care for us lives on within us .. forever & ever!!

Be strong.. & take care ..

jltc said...

Dear Nuraina,

my heartfelt condolence on the loss of your beloved father. I have been reading your blog for quite a while now and as I read this post , my heart goes out to you and I actually felt your loss! I feel the pain of a fellow malaysian.! after all we are all malaysian. banga malaysia. we hope that day will comes soon where we treat each other like we should a true malaysian(no more color,or religion)
God bless you and take care.
johnnie

enar arshad said...

a month ago i lost my mother and until today i am still sebak here and there.before she died the worst was making the decision to put her off the life supporting machine and brought her home.i know it would have been her wish to die at home with family but to explain that, to make that decision was the worst moment of my life..and with each passing day i miss her more.

may Allah give you comfort and strength for this difficult times

mekyam said...

Al-Fatihah!

*hugs!*

Anonymous said...

I still have my parents.Reading your writing makes me wondering,when the time come for my parents to see Allah,am i have enough strength to accept and face the reality?I lost my garandfather and uncle already,it hurt me much,i can't imagine what will happen when i lost my parents.Sad to imagine.

To all and myself,be kind to your parents when they are still alive.We dont know when they die, and when we die.

Salam Ramadhan

Qamjat said...

Kak Aina,
The passing of Pak Samad is a lost to the nation. May Allah SWT bless his soul.

On behalf of the family of Abdullah Kamil (Kesatuan Melayu Muda) I wish you all the patience in the world.

Capt. Azam Ismail said...

Semoga Allah menyayanginya...

THE LIVING YEARS

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that Im a prisoner
To all my father held so dear
I know that Im a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
Im afraid thats all weve got

You say you just dont see it
He says its perfect sense
You just cant get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
Its too late when we die
To admit we dont see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
Its the bitterness that lasts

So dont yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you dont give up, and dont give in
You may just be o.k.

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
Its too late when we die
To admit we dont see eye to eye

I wasnt there that morning
When my father passed away
I didnt get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
Im sure I heard his echo
In my babys new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
Its too late when we die
To admit we dont see eye to eye

Mike and The Mechanics
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/mike+&+the+mechanics/the+living+years_20093565.html

puspawangi said...

Takziah and May Allah give your family the strength to face your loss.

I share your feelings. I lost my Mak to cancer on dec 20, 2006 and my son on april 3, 2007. in 4 months, while i was still grieving the loss of my Mak, I lost my son. Untill now i still cried when i read Fatihah or Yasin or whenever i raised my hands to doa for them, not for the loss but for missing them.

My Mak life story will make a good script for a movie, about the strength of a women whose husband (my father)was so fond of polygamy.

But my son life story is a story of a battle for survival. He was a disabled, diagnosed with cerebral palsy at the age of one. But before that he has to fight epilepsy that caused him brain damage that affect him mental dan physical. I cared for him for 14 years because he was totally dependant on me and my husband. I love him with all my heart and soul. Then the day came. I was with him when he draw his last breath at Pediatric Unit HKL. I didnt go to his funeral. I kiss him the last time before they brought him to surau for sembahyang jenazah. I cant bear to see his body that i used to hold, to cuddle and to carry being buried. I only went to his grave few days later and i was down with fever for two weks. My whole body was aching and it felt like i've lost a part of my body.Then the feeling of lost settled in. My husband took two weeks leave to accompany me at home. Our daughter (we have only 2 children a son and a younger daughter)has started going back to school. He reluctantly went back to work because each time he came back in the afternoon i was crying..you see my son has been my companion, since his sister start going to school. now that he's no longer here, i cant stop crying especially after zohor..coz that was the time when theres only the two of us at home..then i told my husband now i realised that it was not him that need me but it was me who need him.

Slowly or ever so slowly i get used to life without my son..i felt so lonely, a loneliness felt only by a mother losing a child. Nobody not even a husband (the father) can understand that. So now i understand other mother and my Mak better.

I almost gave up the voluntarily work which i did for almost 10 years at the disabled children rehabilitation centre that he attended. When i went there the other children asked me where is my son? some of them knew..but some still asked. Looking at their faces i feel like looking at my sons's face..so i decided to continue. In his loving and living memory.

Now over a year has passed. We quietly celebrated his 14th (2007) and 15th (2008)birthday which fall on august 18 with doa and peacefull mind that he is now with his Creator, Allah SWT. Surely he is better with Him than with us.

And, no i never cant bring myself to used the term "arwah" when referring to him. he will always be "safwan" to us or "abang wan" to his sister. The same goes with my "Mak". "Opah" to my daughter.
AlFatihah to all our family members and muslim brothers and sisiters that has pased on before us.

BTW the term "arwah" usually used by muslim to refer to those who had died..like the use of "the late" mr so and so..correct me if i am wrong.

Be strong.

kimster said...

words can never be quite enough to describe the sense of loss and sorrow.

time is a great healer, and maybe time is all that we have.

ms hart said...

Dear Kak Ena, I kept track of the progress of your Bapak since day 1 of him in ICU. Every stage reminded me of what I had gone through - first it was my grandma who raised me up, then years later, my Mak. The decisions, the shivering, the worry, the sleepless nights, even the walking like zombie in bright daylight! My Mak was bed ridden (her whole brain was damaged) for one year and 6 months. I thought I was prepared to lose her. But when the time came, I realised how wrong I was, Kak Ena. You take care, ya. My doa for your Bapak and for you too.

Norlida said...

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mom a little over 3 months ago. She didn't suffer any illness. She just complained of stomach pain 2 days before she left us. In a blink of an eye, she's gone. And you cannot imagine the pain and suffering my dad, my siblings and i are going through. our only consolation is that mom left so peacefully and every urusan went on smoothly...

i still cry everyday, especially after prayers and after reciting Yaasin for her. what is worse is that i found out i was pregnant a week after i lost mom. Ya Allah, i miss her terribly...

Dad & sis still visit her grave everyday, without fail.

The rest of us will go back to hometown every weekend to visit her grave, and pour some air Yaasin and put fresh flower petals, that mom used to love so much...

Just want to let you know that i sympathise with you because i know how you feel. this year's Aidilfitri will never be the same... i don't know if i ever will be my old self again...

Anonymous said...

Nuraina,

My heart reaches out for you and your family during this moment of grief. Losing a loved one under any circumstances is a difficult thing to bear.

Take heart in the fact that your father's contributions to the nation and journalists were not in vain. They will always be remembered.

Hang in there, Nuraina. Your blog is a lesson in filial love for many of us who know not how to shower love to our parents during their last days. Thank you for the priceless lessons.


A friend

Lady Lavender said...

Salam Kak Ena...you may remember me, maybe not. I was once at NST..tapi di Auckland sekarang.

A belated condolence, and feeling your pain...I am coping with an impending death in the family...and have blogged about it.

Hugs for you and wishing you much peace and happiness.

http://www.langmama.blogspot.com/

ray said...

Takziah buat Kak dan keluarga. Saya juga kehilangan ayah yang saya sayangi pada 6 Ogos yang lalu. Saya masih lagi mencari kekuatan diri. Hanya Allah swt yang lebih mengetahui. Sedekahkanlah doa banyak banyak agar kuburnya diterangi dan dilapangkan serta dijauhi dai azab serta ditempatkan di tempat orang yang diberi rahmat oleh Allah swt.

the witch's broo said...

dear nuraina,

salam takziah to you and your family on the passing of your dad.

i was abroad and did not know about it. I was and still am very shocked by the news.

we have lost an illustrious son, a great intellectual...in short, a great man!

i feel the loss. we will miss him. he is one of a kind!

May Allah bless his soul!

Al Fatihah!

Anonymous said...

aina dear, feeling better now ?
GODBLESS to u & ur darling angel !

lyna ua said...

Kak Ena sayang,
I told you that you may feel worse during pagi Raya but I did not tell you that the emptiness you may feel is from now onwards..........hang on. This is our dugaan. Every puasa and Raya bring the same hankering, empty feeling of missing that special person who have been in our lives since we came to this world.

Ayah too went suddenly during the puasa of 2001, remember? The pain never fade...but it won't consume you so much after awhile. But, like I said, it never fade.

Sabar, ya, Kak Ena...I luv you. Take care dear, dear sister of mine.

Salam sayang,
Lyna UA

Anonymous said...

Dear Kak Nuraina,

Very sorry and sad for the loss of your dear father.

Praying that while sadness inevitably sinks in, thoughts and memories of joy and laughter shall flood in.

Thomas Samuel

kumhor said...

kak ena,

a very touching piece. i pray that you stay strong. and i hope u "heal" in your own way quickly.

Balbeer said...

Hi Nuraina, Very Sorry to hear about Tan Sri, your dad and the person who told me in NST when I wanted to move from Beriteks to the mainstream newspaper: "Why do you want to go to sports...you will become a good journalist in the main paper."

How sharp he was. I made it in the main paper and prgressed far ion the NST.

Om another note, I share your sorrow. My youngest brother alos passed away on Aug 18, 2008. It was a tragic event. Nothing can heal these wounds. I feel fo your sorrow during these moments.

Anonymous said...

Macam la awak sorang je ada bapak...orang lain pun ada juga bapa yg meninggal tapi tak la kecoh satu Malaysia..memori tu simpan ajela dalam hati..over.

cleopatra said...

eh eh anon 1.00PM:

dengki, ke?

tumpang lalu, kak ena...

ada orang dengki-lah...jangan layan.

dengki lah tu.

kesian. kesian. kesian.

WomanVoice said...

Kak Ena,

My heart goes out to u and family. I do know exactly how u feel. God Bless & take care..

Anonymous said...

Memang orang lain pun ada bapak, tapi bapak orang lain tak penting dan berjasa kat malaysia macam bapak orang tu... patutpun heboh satu malaya kerana Pak Samad memang Tokoh Wartawan Negara.. bapak anonymous?

Hi&Lo said...

Nuraina,

Grief is a very personal thing. There's no shortcut or timetable. In fact it may last a lifetime.

Pak Samad is a national treasure. His influence spans 2 nations. I empathise with your family throughout the ordeal.

I am with Cleopatra regarding Anon 1.00pm. Not worth paying attention to insensitive remarks. The curse will return to him manifold.

Nuraina, please continue to share with us your journey. We are privileged to be part of your joy and sorrow.

May Ramadan bring new meanings to us in bearing one another's burden.

Hi&Lo said...

anon 3.05pm,

Jangan cari gaduh di sinilah. If you are in bereavement, all of us will share in your grief.

We did not say other fathers tak penting atau tak berjasa.

If you have nothing better to say, bersopan sikit dan shut up your gap.

sesat said...

You have just lost your beloved Bapak, give yourself time to grieve Nuraina, it is only natural.

Just ignore that 1.00 pm anonymous coward.

fali said...

My condolences. Be well. Be strong.

Anonymous said...

Oi anon 1pm.

Memang le bukan bapak dia sorang je yang meninggal. Tapi bapak dia dengan bapak kita tak sama. Ngok! Bapak dia pejuang bangsa,negara dan wartawan terbilang. pasai tu ada wide media coverage. Suka hati dia le kalau dia nak dok citer 10 kali pun. Lu apa hal.

Kalau setakat nak comment dengki lain kali tak yah nak masuk blog dia..Nampak sah sour grape....

- Lucy Lui

Anonymous said...

Dear Friend,

He is not Gone...He is in you...Remember you are his daughter and therefore he is in you.

Remember I said don't ask for miracles but get him prepared for his journey..but he has not gone. He has not come and he has not gone.

So we carry on the inheritance as it will come to our turn to go into our children...


DalaiLlama

Anonymous said...

Monday, September 08, 2008
Antara pendatang dan penumpang

Pada mulanya saya agak keberatan nak ulas kekecohan yang berpunca ekoran daripada kenyataan ketua UMNO bahagian Bukit Bendera, Pulau Pinang bernama Ahmad bin Ismail. Sama ada benar atau tidak apa yang didakwa dikatakan olehnya mengenai rakyat Malaysia keturunan Cina bukan persoalannya kerana isu tersebut sudahpun merebak dan mengapi-apikan keadaan.

Jika tidak ditangani dengan cermat, teliti dan bijak, isu itu boleh ditangguk dalam air yang keruh oleh anasir-anasir yang ingin melihat negara ini hancur serta mengundang campur tangan kuasa asing. Dalam zaman dunia tanpa sempadan dan liputan meluas dan segera oleh media elektronik antarabangsa, apa yang berlaku di sesebuah negara itu tidak dapat disembunyi atau dinafikan.

Isu pokok yang dibangkitkan oleh Ahmad Ismail membabitkan persoalan "menumpang" iaitu rakyat Malaysia keturunan Cina adalah penumpang di negara ini. Beliau menjelaskan bahawa ia merujuk kepada zaman pra-Merdeka. Bagaimanapun, sensitiviti rakyat Malaysia keturunan Cina telah terguris.

Saya tidak mengenali secara peribadi Ahmad Ismail, tetapi kenal agak rapat dengan Allahyarham abangnya, Abdul Rahim Ismail, pemilik Syarikat Pembinaan Rahim yang pada satu ketika dahulu agak terkenal sebagai sebuah firma pembinaan Bumiputera yang unggul di Pulau Pinang. Saya tidak tahu apa dah jadi dengan syarikat itu selepas Abdul Rahim meninggal dunia.

Secara peribadi, saya tidak setuju dengan apa yang didakwa dikata oleh Ahmad Ismail atas beberapa sebab.

Bagi saya, hampir 90 peratus rakyat Malaysia, khususnya di Semenanjung, adalah pendatang dan kita semua sebenarnya menumpang hidup di bumi Allah. Kita bukan pemilik kekal tetapi hanya menumpang.

Sebagai contoh, saya sendiri adalah keturunan pendatang yang menumpang hidup di bumi bertuah ini. Datuk nenek di sebelah bapa saya berhijrah dari Makkah dan dari Brunei ke sini manakala di sebelah ibu pula dari Hadhramut, Yaman. Kami adalah pendatang dan penumpang sama seperti hampir semua penduduk negara ini khususnya di Pulau Pinang.

Bagi Ahmad Ismail, dia juga datang dari keluarga pendatang dan menumpang hidup di negara ini. Ahmad Ismail tidak boleh menafikan hakikat bahawa datuk neneknya adalah pendatang dari India untuk menerokai penghidupan yang lebih baik dan selesa di bumi bertuah ini.

Perdana Menteri Abdullah bin Ahmad juga tergolong dalam kategori yang sama. Datuknya di sebelah ibu adalah pendatang dari wilayah Guandong, China. Pendek kata, datuk Pak Lah iaitu bapa Allahyarhamah Kailan bernama Hassan Salleh atau Hah Su Chiang adalah seorang pendatang. Beliau berhijrah ke Tanah Melayu dari wilayah Guandong (Kwantung) pada pertengahan abad ke-19 dan menetap di Bayan Lepas sebagai pekebun getah, pesawah padi dan kemudian saudagar intan berlian.

Najib Tun Razak, Timbalan PM juga berasal daripada keluarga pendatang iaitu dari Sulawesi, Indonesia atau lebih senang disebut orang Bugis manakala sepupunya Hishamudin Hussein tidak terlepas daripada darah keturunan Turki.

Datuk nenek mantan PM Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad juga pendatang dari Kerala, India manakala ibu Almarhum Tunku Abul Rahman berasal dari negeri Siam (Thailand).

Kesultanan Melayu Melaka pun dibuka oleh orang pendatang dari Sumatra bernama Parameswara, seorang anak raja atau bangsawan beragama Hindu.

Dalam sejarah kesultanan Melayu, kita dapati ada yang ditubuh oleh pendatang dari Bugis dan ada pula dari Hadhramut selain dari Minangkabau.

Hampir semua orang Melayu di sini berasal dari luar Tanah Melayu tetapi diiktiraf sebagai "bangsa Melayu" oleh Perlembagaan Persekutuan. Kita adalah "Melayu mengikut takrifan Perlembagaan" iaitu beragama Islam, mengamalkan adat resam Melayu dan bertutur dalam bahasa Melayu. Malangnya, bahasa Melayu nampaknya dimatikan oleh orang Melayu (UMNO) sendiri apabila dinamakan sebagai bahasa Malaysia.

Oleh itu, orang Arab seperti Syed Hamid Albar dan saya, orang Aceh seperti Sanusi Junid, orang India seperti Kader Sheikh Fadzir dan Nor Mohamed Yakcop, orang Bugis seperti Najib, orang Minang seperti Rais Yatim, orang Jawa seperti Mohamad Rahmat dan yang lain seperti dari Madura, Pulau Boyan, Siam, Burma, Yunnan (China) dan selatan Filipina dengan mudah boleh diiktirf sebagai "Melayu".

Mereka diterima sebagai orang Melayu tidak kira sama ada mereka bertutur bahasa Melayu atau tidak di rumah umpamanya si Arab berbahasa Arab, si Jawa berbahasa Jawa dan si Minang berbahasa Minang atupun si Mamak berbahasa Tamil.

Bahasa-bahasa yang disebut itu bukan bahasa Melayu dan jika dilihat dari sudut Perlembagaan Persekutuan, tidak boleh diterima atau diiktiraf sebagai bangsa Melayu. Walau bagaimanapun, atas kepentingan dan faktor politik, semuanya diterima sebagai Melayu dan Bumiputera.

Oleh itu, adalah tidak adil untuk menuding jari kepada orang Cina yang juga kaum pendatang sama seperti orang Arab, India, Aceh, Minang, Batak, Mandailing, Jawa, Madura mahupun Bugis, sebagai menumpang di negeri ini. Kita tidak boleh menafikan bahawa sebilangan besar datuk nenek orang Cina telah berhijrah ke negeri ini semasa Kesultanan Melayu Melaka, bahkan kesultanan-kesultanan terdahulu di Kedah mahupun Terengganu dan Kelantan serta semasa Francis Light berjaya menipu Sultan Kedah untuk menduduki Pulau Pinang pada 1786.

Kita adalah kaum pendatang yang menumpang hidup di negeri ini. Golongan yang boleh diiktiraf sebagai orang asal atau anak bumi tulen adalah mereka yang kita kenali sebagai Negrito, Jakun, Semang, Jahut, Orang Laut, Orang Darat, Senoi dan suku kaum masyarakat Asli lain yang masih menjadi penghuni belantara.

Kita tidak harus lupa akan sumbangan dan pengorbanan semua kaum dan suku kaum untuk membangunkan Malaysia sama ada dari sudut ekonomi, kemasyarakatan, keselamatan dan yang paling penting kesepakatan dan perpaduan. Semua orang yang kena dan seharusnya membayar cukai, berbuat demikian tanpa mengira kaum atau asal keturunan, sama ada pendatang atau penumpang.

Kita semua adalah rakyat Malaysia.


Syed Imran

NB Fatihah to Bapak

naznah said...

salam..salam takziah untuk kak ani...salam

Anonymous said...

aina, saw u on tv1 last nite lah ! GODBLESS .

Anonymous said...

ISA on RPK at 1.10 , said the bini !

Juanito said...

My sincere condolences... May God Bless you..

Cute Ultraman Boy said...

This is too painful even for me to read, Kak Nuraina.

The pain always comes afterwards, and hits us so hard....................

My condolences... may you be okay...


Most sincerely,
Ravikumar

puspawangi said...

Antara pendatang dan penumpang..

though i agree with this view ,i do think it should be in anor column..shall we move to discuss the matter as anor topic in itself? or is it too sensitive to discuss in public or to admit the fact that almost all our datuk nenek were "pendatang" to this beautiful land? a lesson in history anyone? the truth this time?

kbguy said...

Sorry i am a bit late. Just want to sent my condolence to all in the family.

KADKAHWINKU DOT COM said...

Takziah & Al-Fatihah buat Pak Samad...takkan mungkin berjumpa lagi.. Your article made me cry...Lots of luvs & Selamat hari raya from TEAM Kadkahwinku.com

Patriot Selatan said...

ena... continue his legacy... principled journalism... that's the best way to remember him...

pamina said...

i'm sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

Dear Nuraina, My heart goes out to you. I know what it is to lose someone a parent. The ache will always be there when you see something or hear something that reminds you of the person, but then time heals, though slowly.

ben said...

Takziah dari kami kpd Semua Ahli Keluarga arwah Pak Samad - walaupun tak kenal. Mudah2an Allah ampunkan dan meletakkan rohnya di kalangan mereka yg beriman, insyaAllah. Teringat saya kpd pesanan arwah bapa saudara saya, bekas Imam Masjid Pekan: dalam kesebukan harian kita yg tinggal ni,jgn la lupa utk senantiasa (setiap hari) menghadiahkan sekurang2nya al Fatihah & QulhuaAllah (paling mudah/ringkas)kpd mereka yg telah pergi dahulu. Itu lah sebaik2 hadiah. Wallahualam. Salam dari Taipei...

Cute Ultraman Boy said...

Kak Nuraina

I watched this documentary "10 Tahun Sebelum Merdeka" at Haris Ibrahim's website and in one of the old 1940s news clippings shown, I saw Pak Samad's name in it..... he played an important role in Malaysia Independences in the 1940s......

you must watch this documentary kakak

Ahmad A Talib said...

Aina,

I'm initiating what I believe to be a fitting tribute to your father. I wrote about it in my blog yesterday. Appreciate your comments if possible. Salam dan selamat berpuasa.

PAHIT MANIS

pelangi said...

Salam Kak...my deepest condolences to you and your family on the departure of Pak.May Allah bless his soul as other pious soul being bless.

The undiscovered country,from whose bourn,No traveller returns. -Shakespeare.

REDZUAN said...

Assalamualaikum Wm. Wb.
Puan Nuraina
Saya membaca tulisan Puan dengan penuh kesedihan dan simpati di atas kembalinya ke rahmatullah ayahanda Puan yang tercinta, Tan Sri A.Samad Ismail. Saya mendoakan semoga Puan selaku anak terus tabah dan sentiasa mendoakan semoga rohnya ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang yang mendapat kerahmatan-Nya.

Sebagai seorang yang amat menghargai sumbangan Allahyarham saya ingin mencadangan (jika tidak membebankan) Puan menerbitkan dalam blog Puan tulisan-tulisan pendek secara berkala yang mendidik yang pernah di tulis oleh Allahyarham untuk tatapan pembaca. Hadith Rasullah jelas menyatakan bahawa antara tiga perkara yang membantu di alam selepas mati ialah ilmu yang dimanfaatkan. Allahyarham banyak menghamburkan ilmu yang telah dimanfaat yang mungkin tidak semua anggota masyarakat berksempatan membaca dan menghayatinya.
Pada akhir tahun 1980-an dan awal 1990-an saya selalu bertemu dengan Allahyarham di Masjid Matrikulasi UIA Seksyem 17, PJ. Beliau sering ditemui menunggu emak Puan yang menghadiri kelas agama yang diadakan di situ. Saya kebetulan menunggu mengambil anak yang belajar di TASKI ABIM yang terletak bersebelahan. Sekadar menyapa sudah memadai kerana saya adalah terlalu kecil untuk berbicara dengan Pak Samad.
Saya masih ingat dua tulisan Pak Samad yang amat menyentuh perasaan. Pertama tulisannya tentang pengalaman mendapat cucu. Saya tidak pasti cucu yang mana tetapi tajuknya kalau tak silap “Cucu dan Cucukerasi” dan diterbitkan oleh Dewan Masyarakat. Artikel kedua ialah tulisan Allahyarham selepas kematian ibu Puan, Pak Samad menulis satu artikel yang amat menyentuh perasaan tentang antara lain memperkatakan tentang pengorbanan ibu Puan termasuklah kalau saya tidak silap bagaiman terpaksa pergi ke hospital naik teksi untuk bersalin kerana Pak Samad tidak ada. Digambarkan juga bagaimana perasaan Allah yarham dengan kehilangan yang ketika ada tidak dirasai kerberadaannya, tetapi setelah tiada ketiadaannya amat dirasai.
Seperkara lagi, sekadar cadangan saya rasa elok Puan masukkan juga tulisan dalam Bahasa Melayu selain Bahasa Inggeris kerana saya pasti ramai yang berminat membaca, tetapi kurang mahir dalam Bahasa Inggeris.
Saya mohon maaf kalau tulisan saya menyinggung atau menyusahkan Puan. Tetapi saya terpanggil untuk menulis kerana mengagumi hanya beberapa tulisan Pak Samad yang sempat saya baca. Harap abaikan tulisan saya ini jika dirasakan tidak penting.

Wasallam.

Prof. Dr. Mohammad Redzuan Othman
Jabatan Sejarah
Universiti Malaya
KL.

Gadis Reformasi said...

salam ziarah
salam takziah
i`ve been thre
it was so hard but it will be fine
insyallah
=]
may ALLAH put him among the best group

Anonymous said...

mati harimau meniinggalkan belang matinya manusia meninggalkan nama, begitulah ingatan saya pada pak samad sbg jounalist negara.Alangkah ruginya tak ade seorang pon yang mengikut jejaknya. Begitu telus dalam tiap-tiap pertolongan beliau.

http://thepenangfile.bravehost.com said...

we have an obituary on your father. we will send it to you if you will send your email address to

thepenangfileg@yahoo.co.uk

tigakale said...

my deepest condolences to you and your family

RS said...

Al-Fatihah.

You've my sincere condolences. It will all pass by soon enough. Time heals everything. You might not feel that things will be better NOW but they'll inevitably. No one's prepared for death. But with prayers and a strong faith, we can feel better.