Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Bathe Together, Use Sensuous Fragrances And Wear Sexy Pyjamas...


...to spice up your sex life with your spouse. In Terengganu, that is.

I mean...really!?

Oh. dear. A state crisis. Anyway, here's a news report about why some marriages in Terengganu have turned, er , bad and boring ... yawn..... And, yes - the State government has found it important enough to help married couples find that oomph in their sex life and that elusive sweet bliss in their marriage. (source: the Star)

KUALA TERENGGANU: Body odour, humdrum sex and boring pyjamas have been blamed for the high divorce rate in Terengganu and the state government is coming up with innovative ways to improve sexual relations, especially among newly-weds.
Top on its list is to invite cosmetic firms to introduce exotic and sensuous fragrances that can arouse sexual desire.
And husbands and wives are being encouraged to bathe together.
State Religious and Information Committee deputy chairman Muhammad Ramli Nuh believes that these moves can curb the divorce rates among young couples.
He told The Star yesterday that at least three in every 10 marriages in the state end in divorce, adding that separation was now the prevalent trend among couples aged between 25 and 30 years.
Muhammad Ramli said couples who had been married for less than five years and were on the verge of separation had told counsellors that routine sex and body odour were the main reasons for them to want to break up.
He said he was bewildered that some of these couples said their spouses’ old-fashioned pyjamas – sarong and t-shirt – and bad smell during intimate moments made their sex life monotonous or turned them off completely.
“I know of one case where a separation was triggered just because the spouse smelled of fish crackers,” he said.
As such, he said the state government – through state Family Development Board – was asking cosmetic firms to introduce special perfumes for the couples so they could “sustain their relationships, hopefully for eternity.”
Muhammad Ramli said married couples should bathe together to make their relationship more exciting.
“I met this elderly couple in Kelantan, they bathe together although they are grandparents; they enjoy a blissful marriage, this is when I mooted the idea where this method could be introduced as part of the pre-marital courses conducted in the state,” he said.
Muhammad Ramli said the state government was also sourcing for consultants to provide grooming workshops.
“This workshop is not only meant for the wives but also to provide men with tips on how to be attractive to their spouse at all times,” he said.
He said these consultants could also suggest the right lingerie to be worn.
Muhammad Ramli added that the state government had engaged marriage consultants to mediate between feuding couples.

*********************

I hear you out there. You could've told them the same thing on how to...

So, go offer your consultancy services....

32 comments:

MAthin2 said...

There was a story a long time ago on how foreigners used to think that Malaysians live on trees. Now, with this story, they probably think we graduated to living in caves...

But we do regularly shower together though but more to save water and environment. Alright, stop your snickering already!

Ok, back to the subject: marriage is more than just sex. Since the divorce is prevalent among the young, then the problem could be that they marry too young?

Anonymous said...

i cant help it. the fish cracker one is veli funny :-)

KC said...

The problem does not lie between the groin but up between the ears!

Darn! More tax money down the drain!!!

Anonymous said...

no lah firned. i think its money. till debt do us part. duit tak cukup, hidup tak tenteram, nak mandi together pun tak senang.

it must be stressed and taught, that sex is the solution for stress and hardlife. no need to pay what. good exercise olso

the more you do, the more you can do lah friends...

laimun said...

“And husbands and wives are being encouraged to bathe together.” Says State Religious and Information Committee deputy chairman Muhammad Ramli Nuh.

Oh oh, this is serious stuff. Ok, you are my main man, but you have to register with JAIS if you want to expand your horizon in Selangor.

I told my wife about your fatwa. She muttered “Hamsup old man”!!!

And that line about “old-fashioned pyjamas – sarong and t-shirt”. I suggested to wifie what about starkers. Melayang the sendok she was holding. I tell you Saudara Muhammad Ramli Nuh, you trylah on your better half and tell us the outcome!!!!

“bad smell during intimate moments”, that is normal in Trengganu. Nothing personal but with all the keropok lekor, when you melepas at strategic moments, mak oiii, not only nyamok lari, H1N1 also head for the Monsoon Cup.

Susah susah only, can marry one more or not.

Anonymous said...

Seek advise from Wook Kundur, a 107year old Terengganu woman who has been married 22 times.Her latest husband is 38 years old. She advises publically that it's a duty as a wife to 'please' her husband and that she knows how to. Wook, you truly live the adage "Old Is Gold" and you should be giving seminars to those poor gals who don't know how to live life and have a good time. Way to go girl!

Saddiq Sagaraga said...

Perfumery for sexual arousal? Maybe. But that is like covering dirty surface with a rug. The odour would smell even more rancid.

Most body odour result from sweat mixed with fungi from dead skin, bacteria and lack of fibre in the diet. Washing with soap and water and a diet containing vegetable and fruits would eliminate the problem.

Lingeries? Sarongs and singlets in hot and humid tropical weather are among the best nighties. The turns-offs are not the sarongs and singlets. Often the smell of bodily sweat accumulated on them after repeated use is the culprit .

Both problems emanate from lack of basic hygiene amongst us. So, people, save your hard-earned cash from the business vultures that are hovering over the naiave among us.

Anonymous said...

Husbands and wives should bathe together - now they say it. When the late Yasmin Ahmad featured this in her movie they were against it.

Anonymous said...

In the old days trust and faithfullness overule sex.
Sex and looks was hardly the topic but life seems healthy and good.

It is in these modern days that much emphasis was given to sex and looks that lead to divorce and disharmony in a family.

The law of diminishing works here..it's just another excuse to go for anothr shot.(after a few thousand shots at the same target).

True love never die and whatever happen in look or sexual , it wotks in the Reverse of the diminishing returns.

son of the gun

Anonymous said...

Body odour, humdrum sex and boring pyjamas are the silly excuses for the increase rate of divorces among the malays. This kind of statement only comes from the brain of religious bigots as these problems can be easily overcome if they are tackled by the will to tolerate or change from the 2 partners. This happens only when there's no longer love exists in either one of the partners. The problem usually comes from the men, the husbands who like to look for new toys for fresh excitements.
It's not a prejudice but a fact that the rate of this reasoned divorces is much higher among the Malays compared to other races.

Anonymous said...

DUDOK TIAM-TIAM, JIKA TADAQ APA-APA NAK CAKAP ADALAH LEBIH BAIK DARI MENGELUARKAN FATWA YANG BUKAN-BUKAN YANG BOLEH MEMALUKAN.

airman said...

krajaan tganu ini dah tak de problem utk diselesaikan, hinggakan prkara inipun menjadikan jadi isu,ialah katakan projek semua telah jalan, so duit banyak tak tau nak buat apa da....unperfectstone53

Chahya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
azizah said...

Read Kamasutra.

Joko said...

Please.

Give us some original commentaries.

Not just cut-and-paste stuff from the news.

Sheesh...

tder said...

Ok ok…...too lazy to reject the perfume idea…so trying to support lah. I know I know…I should not say ‘trying’….well…; here I go; my personal warm embrace, namely, my ‘r&d sex-stimulate-perfume’ questions….
(Pardon me, these questions are not ‘innovative - kinky’...
yeah, I’m a nameless nerd :-))

1. Residual effect: what, how quick/slow _____
2. Trajectory spray: what is the best ____, where is the best ____
3. This is calculus - Changes in what influence changes in other what(s)
4. Is it biological plausible, cinta plausible? If yes, what’s its approximation (near
80/90/100%)?
5. How to make sure that this perfume is biological plausible, cinta plausible…
(Using human as experimental
purpose or…?)
etc

… wife-to-be and husband to-be
**Bang, jangan lupa masukkan sekali perfume itu dalam list barang hantaran Tijah ye, Tijah dah pun beli perfume macam yang abang nak tu……Muuuaahh...sayang abang…**

What’s his name again?
Oh…Muhammad Ramli Nuh, I feel for you…see, I am trying to support your idea.

Anonymous said...

Reasons are obvious. They married too young, without really knowing their partners. Got many children, but not enuf parental skills. Even their parents are young, got enuf energy to meddle in their children's marriages, nag nag nag. Despite being an oil producing state, they remain poor, thus financial issue must also be a reason.


Nacaleb

Jahamy said...

waaahhh..best nye Malaysia...ini pun perlukan campurtangan Kerajaan....

kalau macam ni tak perlu jadi dewasa la...

adoohai!!!

Anonymous said...

banana...in pajamas...are running down the stairs..

Anonymous said...

I don't know how far this is true but some people have told me that the number one divorce reason among malays is because of two kinds of foul-mouthed horned beasts. And no, we're not talking about syaitans or jinns. Para ulama don't go typing a response yet.

I'm talking about in-laws. Usually there is an overbearing, inconsiderate, selfish mak mertua beast behind the scene. Also, there would be a similar beast in the form of a sister-in-law.

Almost every malay family i know including my own has these two beasts, the mother-in-law and the sister-in-law.

Women of yesteryears rarely resorted to divorce beacuse they had no where else to go. Today's educated and working women can say F*** OFF and file for divorce if they encounter these beasts. Maybe, that's what's happening in good 'ol Malaysia.

Anonymous said...

Uh? Always thought that the religious people there were ritually clean?

Too much keropok lekor in their diet?

Gosh, must be the biggest joke of the year.

A GOOD MAN DOES NOTHING.

Jane Doe said...

Kesian kat Anon 8.02pm for having beasts around. Maybe it's your karma.
No one should bzbodi campurtangan in one's marriage.
Kawin mat salleh takde pulak campurtangan in laws... but masalah lain pula.

When we become in laws, don't be like them ok.

Anonymous said...

hmmmm when you wear g-strings, make sure the string is at the back.

plus, when you want to try apply lingerie, please make sure it fits.

if you package keropok lekor in exotic imported chocolate box & wrapping, it is still keropok lekor ok.

exercise maximum caution and undang undang darurat...

otherwise its nightmare on elm street indeed hahaha

-string in front-

Anonymous said...

Dear Madam,

Without carnal knowledge marriage become so dull. Same thing with keropok lekor. Life is so bored if people don't see it for a week or so.

But then if people keep eating the same variety of keropok lekor/batang, the taste is gone. To avoid that, people need to try different varieties of keropok batang. Only then, people can enjoy keropok lekor almost forever.

Same thing happened to the couples. The intimate urge to try different 'material' is there. It is undeniable fact.

Because of that people dare to take risk to go across the border to find a new 'experience'. Because of that some guys are keen to keep 'spare parts' away from home. Because of that people claims nothing wrong to have extra-marital fun.

The thing is, not every individual is that lucky to be able to enjoy crossed-border happy hour; to have more than one spare parts; not having the feeling of guilt for establishing the extra-marital relationship.

What choices those unlucky few have? To find the 2nd, 3rd or 4th person to become the 'legal partner'? Not that easy, mem! The last resort is to break of for good? Yes, that is the reality...


Kerepek

Anonymous said...

What we need is probably a good war or natural disaster. Yes, look at how people survived during WWII. They may have smelled like keropok lekor, chee cheong fun or apam balik masam but by golly, they stuck together and had 8 or 10 children!

Sometimes, when we have it easy, we don't appreciate what we have.

wishediwaswrong said...

We've already experienced ustazes preaching in mosques after subuh prayers who abuse religious quotes and sources, even the Quran and hadith, to sell things like the so-called properly slaughtered chicken, olive oil and such. Hope this is not another such ploy to sell some so-called 'Islamic' perfumery, lingeries, etc.

Anonymous said...

there is this nice place resort in garut, near bandung. modern, tapi di buat macam kampung.ada lake, most things are wooden, bamboo, nice exotic stuff. zero TV, zero computer.

nyamuk takde, angin sejuk, fresh, berbelai lembut, comfortable bed with flowers...

letrik & lampu pun ala kadar setakat ada sikit sikit je.

suasana macam kampung zaman dulu. rely more on cahaya bulan at night.

yes, couples go there, memang sure , just to make babies. nothing else to do.

terengganu better catu letrik, pukul lapan, potong TNB supplies. pukul lapan semua wajib dah masuk tidur, nothing else to do.

you can bet....

Anonymous said...

Ena,

A very interesting topic! Well the high divorce rate could be due to many factors and not merely the sexual encounters. I guess this problem is not only rampant in Terengganu. Previously people were talking about the "7 year itch" and probably with the advent in technology it has now become a "5 year itch."

Anonymous said...

dear anon 3:01 PM, sekarang bukan 5 year itch.

Malah dah upgrade to monthly rashes!!ruam ruam panas dan gatal yang amat sangat

-cialis-

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