Tuesdays With Bapak

Will We Hear Your Laugh Again? -- August 26 2008

When we left you late last night, you were trying to open your eyes but you couldn't.

We knew you were trying so hard but the drug was just too strong for you.

Perhaps, you should listen to the nurse --"don't fight it, go with it."

So, Bapak, go with it. Slowly, you'll come around ..

We know you can hear us now, Bapak.

Dr Ridzwan texted me this morning to say that you are now breathing on your own but you are still very weak.

He has ordered that you will not be allowed visitors, except close relatives.

I suppose, we have to abide by your doctor's orders, haven't we?

It is for your own good, Bapak. We know you like to hear familiar voices and a little noise...

Perhaps, later, when you have regained whatever little strength that you have..

And did we detect your lips quivering last night, as though you were attempting to smile when you heard our voices.

And, Bapak. Please try not to pull the tube out of your mouth. It will only cause you pain. And, no, no....don't try to rip the drip from your hand. Besides, you really can't pull these tubes out...your senses are numb, remember?

We watched you. So frail now. So thin. Lying helpless on the hospital bed.

But, you know what....we think you're going to be ok..

Ah....to just hear your laugh again....

Bapak, here's Jalaluddin A-Rumi's poem (your favourite):

I sought a soul in the sea
And found a coral there;
Beneath the foam for me
An ocean was all laid bare.

Into my heart's night
Along a narrow way
I groped; and lo! the light,
An infinite land of day.

*Bapak is in the Intensive Care Unit Of the Pantai Medical Centre.